Believe in Forever

  
AUTHOR: Evenstar

EMAIL: samhain@uniserve.com

SUMMARY: Buffy arrives in Los Angeles after learning Spike's alive, only to find another man waiting for her. NC-17...Post-Smile Time...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I've been totally out of the fic loop, real life stuff taking precedent, but I've been able to write again and here's what I came up with. Enjoy.
  

Spike ducked the incoming blow from the vampire easily, doing a bob and
weave, and then delivering a solid blow to his opponent's gut. The
fledgling lurched forward in pain and Spike brought the back of his fist
down like a meat cleaver to a carcass. The force was enough to crush the
other vampire's skull, which was followed up by a grisly decapitation in
the form of pulling his spine out of his body as one might a fish. The vamp
turned to dust.

"That was disgusting," Angel commented as he staked the last vampire.

"Yeah. I know. It really was wasn't it?" Spike laughed, brushing the dust
off his coat. "Been playin' Mortal Kombat on m'XBox n' wanted to see if it
was possible. Bloody marvelous, doncha think?"

"I said disgusting."

"But ever so much fun. You really should get out more."

"I am out." The two vampire champions sauntered side by side towards the
exit of the darkened alley.

"It took me three bloody days of constant nagging and pestering to get you
to agree to a good ol' fashioned patrol. S'bout time we got you out of your
posh leather chair and into some real honest helping of the helpless."

"What helpless? We followed those five from the liquor store to their lair."

"Well, there could've been! Suppose some poor young innocent on the way
home from working a double shift at the Doublemeat crossed their path and
she was too tired to even notice them sneaking up on her and of course she
was in such a rush that morning she didn't pack her stake with her and..."

"What on Earth are you yammering on about?"

"Huh?" Spike caught himself, slipping yet again into another moment
pondering Buffy. "Nothing."

"Did you save her?" Spike sighed as they turned the corner, heading back
towards Wolfram and Hart.

"Yeah, she just stood there and watched. When I came over to her there were
tears in her eyes. I told her again how I'd help her out if she'd just let
me. Just told me to hold her, please hold her. Eventually I picked her up
and carried her home. She was asleep in my arms in less than ten paces."

"Spike, listen." Angel took a deep breath and let it out, trying to finally
say what he knew was right. "Maybe you should go to her."

"Is it me or did the planet just tilt off its axis?"

"You love her, you can be with her and I know she doesn't think of me how
she thinks of you."

"Very magnanimous of you. Someone conk you on the head? Really hard like?"

"She told you she loved you, right? Buffy doesn't say that easily and we
both know it. She doesn't want a life with me."

"Don't know as she wants one with me either though, Peaches."

"Won't know until you ask her." Spike stalked on ahead, stuffing his hands
into the pockets of his coat and putting his head down. His mind was so
full of questions he didn't know how to begin to answer them for himself.
He physically ached to be near Buffy again. Knowing she was out there in
the world and not being able to just be near her, in the same city even was
killing him. Angel caught up to him. "We're not friends, Spike."

"No bloomin' kidding. Ponce."

"And probably never will be, idiot. But we're family."

"And that entitles you to what? Boss me around all high n' mighty like you
do those scabby minions you call your lawyers?"

"Fine, have it your way. You know what? You are..." Suddenly Angel found
his back was on the pavement, having been pushed by the Spike and he saw
the blonde vampire above him, far above him. Spike was pinned halfway up
the face of the building, surrounded, drowning in a cold blue miasma of
energy. He was screaming in agony.

Across the street the source of the energy stood: a small time but very
evil warlock that Angel had tangled with early last year, before Spike had
ever come to Wolfram and Hart. Somehow he'd gathered enough power to attack
Angel, only Spike had pushed his grandsire out of the way and now Spike was
facing the consequences.

Tearing a hubcap off the car in front of him, Angel frisbeed it across the
road and severed the warlock's head from his shoulders. The blue light
disappeared instantly and Spike plummeted to the pavement. When he didn't
immediately get up, Angel grew concerned. He knelt down and rolled Spike on
to his back. There were no visible signs of injury, but the younger vampire
was stone cold and still. Angel smacked Spike's face, shook him, but to no
avail. As they were a relatively short distance from the office, Angel
hoisted Spike over his shoulder and made their way home.

***

"Mystical coma? Again?" Angel asked incredulously.

"I'm afraid so, the mystical readings are quite clear. I've even been able
to determine which incantation Saarlak used," Wesley explained as the gang
gathered around the vampire in the hospital bed in Wolfram & Hart's medical
wing.

"Can you reverse it?" Wesley looked down at the floor and sighed heavily.

"There's a reason this particular spell was used. Its intention is to not
destroy the demon, but to put in permanent stasis, trapped in a dreamless
sleep. As if setting his mind adrift in an infinite void, never waking. Ever."

"So you're saying Spike is lost? He's going to stay this way forever?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. That was Saarlak's intention, to put..."

"Me out of commission. Spike pushed me out of the way, sacrificed himself."
Angel looked over the motionless form of his progeny and felt an unexpected
pang of hurt course through him. "It should have been me."

"I've found that Spike often thinks before he acts. Count yourself grateful
in this instance. If the people's champion had been removed from the
equation, who knows how the demon world would react, or the Senior Partners
for that matter."

"The people lost a champion today." And Angel realized for the first time
that he'd lost someone too.

***

Buffy was fidgeting nervously as she rode up the elevator towards Angel's
office at Wolfram and Hart. She was having all sorts of ridiculous
thoughts, mostly surrounding her hope that Spike liked her outfit. Of all
the silly things! She'd spent hours going through everything she owned to
make sure she chose just the right thing. As it was, she wore a black wrap
around leather skirt that went down to nearly her ankles, tall high healed
leather boots and fine cream colored silk camisole. It was a near imitation
of an outfit she'd worn once before. She hoped it pleased him. Which was
also why she wore the long tresses of her honey hair loose. She hoped she
pleased him.

She'd been crying almost nonstop since Andrew had confessed that Spike had
been resurrected, but since stepping off the plane at LAX, she'd been
smiling, though overcome with nerves. She was prepared to beg him to take
her back, to please still love her. To please forgive her for leaving him
to die alone.

She was prepared however to face a rejection, their roles now seeming to
her to be quite reversed. She was content enough to know he was in the
world, and she would do anything in her power to keep him there. The ding
from the elevator arriving at its destination jarred the Slayer out of her
memories. She straightened her back and took in a deep breath. Walking out
into the hub of Wolfram and Hart's offices was somewhat like she expected.
People were moving all over the place, either talking on cell phones or
going over their files. She was almost run over by a type of green-skinned
demon she'd never seen before. He was wearing a flashy yellow suit with a
red cravat, talking on a cell phone. The demon stopped and flipped the
phone closed, then turned to face Buffy.

"I'm sorry my little, golden slice of pumpkin pie, didn't see you there,"
he apologized.

"It's okay, I don't really know where I'm going. I'm looking for Angel."

"Ohh...he might be a bit tied up today, and not in the fun way. I'm afraid
Angelcake's had the air puffed out of his soufflé today."

"You like pastry, don't you?"

"I do, but my thighs don't. I'm Lorne, at your service. What can our
not-so-evil-anymore-incorporate do for you today?"

"Really, I just need to see Angel."

"Honeycrumb..." Lorne solemnly put a hand on her shoulder. "We lost a
friend today."

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I won't intrude then. Maybe you can help me?" Buffy
sighed and gathered her thoughts, putting them in order. "My name is Buffy
and..." Lorne gasped, which confused Buffy.

"You better come with me."

***

"Unhand me!" a male voice shouted from down the end of the hall. Buffy knew
it as Spike's instantly. She broke away from Lorne and sprinted towards the
hospital room where an obvious confrontation was taking place. "You cannot
keep me here against my will. I demand someone fetch a constable! Where are
my clothes?! NO! Get back!!"

He'd awoken in a strange, sterile place that had all the pallor and scent
of death. There were machines making all sort of noise and disembodied
voices crying all around him. There was no sunlight, nor fresh air, and he
felt trapped. He tried to rise from his bed, finding he wore only a flimsy
gown and there was no sign that anything of him in this room besides his
body. He couldn't remember how he came to this place. He vaguely recalled a
dark haired woman talking to him in an alley, speaking something about
burning fish. Everything after that seemed lost. He worried that his mother
was fretting over his whereabouts. Finally getting to his feet, he'd fallen
promptly to the floor, his legs feeling like jelly. Some sort of alarm
sounded and he'd scrambled to find a hiding place.

Two rather burly looking men dressed in white came bursting through the
doors, followed by a woman dressed in a similar fashion and she looked
dangerous, especially considering the large needle she held in her hand. He
was seized and hauled up to his feet, at which point he struggled and
vocalized his distress.

The sedative was a hair's width away from piercing his skin when another
person came on the scene.

"Let him go!" a woman's voice shouted as she was already pushing his
captors away. He fell bonelessly to the cold floor, very much still in a daze.

"You better listen to this one, she's the Slayer and the boss' ex," Lorne
provided ushering the hospital staff out of the room. He then proceeded to
where Buffy was pulling the blond vampire up off the floor. Together they
got him to his feet and back into bed. "I'll leave you two alone and go
fetch the big man."

"Thanks Lorne, we'll be okay now, but I want an explanation. You told me he
wouldn't wake up."

"Don't look at me! I just make quips and use confectionery terms of
endearment!" Buffy gave the green demon a slight smile, letting him off the
hook. She had more important matters to attend to. She turned back to the
bed and locked eyes with the man sitting there.

"Beg pardon, but..." he began, but his words were cut off with Buffy's
mouth descending upon his. She sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms
around his neck, deepening their kiss. The sensation of having a beautiful
woman be so aggressively intimate with him was shocking and foreign, but
not in the least unpleasant. Unsure of just what to do, he abandoned
himself to her urgent ministrations with her tongue in his mouth massaging
his. He groaned softly, feeling lightheaded. They fell back against the
mattress and Buffy began to cry. Their kiss broke apart and she hugged him
so tightly he though he'd burst like a grape underfoot. "M'lady?"

"I love you!!" she cried, holding his face in her hands. He remarked how
she was overcome, and seemingly because of him. "I love you. Please tell me
you believe me. I know...I know I screwed up, and I know I don't deserve to
be this lucky...but you're back and I swear I'll make it up to you!"
Gingerly, he took her by the shoulders and pushed her back from him a ways.

"Miss, perhaps you need a moment?"

"What? Spike, what's going on?"

"William, if you please miss. I don't know who Spike is, but perhaps you
have me confused with him." Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing. In
a furious gesture she wiped the tears from her face.

"There's no confusion. I know your name is William, I don't know what's
happened but I know you're the man I love."

"I have no memory of you. I'm sorry."

It was at that inopportune moment that the others arrived. Buffy drew back
from William and went to lean against the wall, leaving space for Angel and
his friends to gather around William's bed.

"Spike..." Angel began, but was then distracted by Buffy making a beeline
for the door.

"Call him William," she said, leaving the room.

"I'm afraid I've upset the lady," William stated. "She seems to have
confused me with a gentleman named Spike, though I can hardly see how a
gentleman would possess such a moniker."

"You're Spike, there's no mistaking that, you've just forgotten," Angel
tried to explain. "Look, what's the last thing you remember?"

"There was a party...then a woman."

"In black?"

"Yes! How did you know?"

"That's a long story."

***

Half an hour later Angel emerged from William's hospital room, followed by
Wes. Fred and Gunn have Buffy a sympathetic look and made their exit. Buffy
was sitting with Lorne, seeming withdrawn and deeply saddened. She looked
up with tearstained eyes, then back down again. Lorne patted her back,
offering what comfort he could.

"Why don't you go in with him Buffy, I'll have dinner sent up," Angel offered.

"Does he want to see me?" she asked, feeling a glimmer of hope.

"Very much. I explained a few things, not everything; he doesn't know he's
a vampire. I told him he'd been misplaced in time, that magical forces were
to blame. Wes did a better job of making him understand. I told him that
he's been with you for years and that he was presumed dead after Sunnydale.
I told him that he loved you and you were his whole world and that even if
he didn't remember it now, that he shouldn't push you away because you were
the best thing that ever happened to him. He thinks he has amnesia." Buffy
rushed into Angel's embrace, her tears starting a new.

"Thank you." She took a step back and dried her eyes again. Lorne passed
her a garish bright pink handkerchief, which she gratefully accepted. "But
what about Spike?"

"Asleep, inside there somewhere. Sarlaak didn't take the soul into
consideration. He put the demon to sleep, but he couldn't quell the soul."

"Will he ever wake up?"

"We don't know, Buffy. But for now we have a stranger to these times on our
hands, one who doesn't know he has friends. He saved my life; it could have
been me in there. And he has you, it's a pretty good head start."

"William was as much a part of Spike as the demon. I love him."

"Good, because he's going to need it. I'll have an early dinner sent up for
you two, give you some time to get comfortable with each other. You'll find
him in there somewhere Buffy, the man that loves you." She gave him another
hug, knowing that they were finally letting the last of each other they'd
held on to for all these years go. The hallway emptied and Buffy was left
alone with only the barrier of the door between her and the man she loved.

She stepped up and knocked and waited for his reply before entering. When
none came, she tentatively opened the door.

"Can I come in?" she asked, her voice wavering a little.

"Yes, of course," William replied, trying to shrug off his uneasiness.
Angel had told him a good many things about Buffy and he wished he had more
time to process them, but he didn't want to ignore the lady. The one who
supposedly loved him. She entered the room, giving him a shy smile. She
closed the door, but remained a fair distance from him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Somewhat improved, though I was never one for lazing around in bed."

"You're recovering."

"So I'm told." An awkward silence hung between them and they snuck glances
at the other. "Perhaps you'd like to sit down?"

"Okay." She took the seat before his bed, the one that Angel had been
sitting in. She could reach out and touch him if she wanted. He looked so
much like Spike, except his composure was reserved and shy. She couldn't
help herself to stop the few tears that ran down her face. The sight of
which pained William deeply.

"My dear, I apologize if I've upset you. Please understand that I have no
control over our present situation. I'm sorry I don't recall our past
together. Mr. Angel kindly explained some of it..."

"What did he tell you?"

"That magic was real and that the woman in black I remember following me
down that alley somehow brought me to the present, to the 21st century. I
must admit that I'm somewhat relieved. I've always had a penchant for the
arcane you see. A few years ago, rather, when I in my twenty forth year I
met an old woman on the street selling poppies. She was having a terrible
time of it, most people ignored her. I gave her a few pennies for a bouquet
for mother and she told me that for the extra one I'd tossed in out of pity
she'd tell me my future."

"And what did she say?"

"That the road I followed was not the one I was meant to be on and that the
universe was working on changing my path. That I should expect to live an
unnatural life, as she put it. I suppose she was right, for here we are."
He smiled at her and remarked to himself how lovely a girl she was,
particularly the amazing peridot shade combined with hazel of her eyes and
how it deepened depending on the light. No wonder he'd fallen in love with
her, as Angel had said. She was small in stature, well matched for him, but
he knew she had hidden strengths. She simply had a way about her that
entranced him.

There was the briefest knock at the door before Lorne entered, pulling a
cart behind him. William's eyes widened in shock at the sight of the green
demon, obviously having not noticed him previously with all the commotion.
Buffy took William's hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"And how are my two love birds tonight?" Lorne asked. Without giving either
a chance to reply, Lorne continued. "For your dining pleasure tonight we
have Cornish hen with goat's cheese and foccacia stuffing; springtime
greens with raspberry vinaigrette and for dessert a real treat..."

"It's some sort of pastry, isn't it?" Buffy asked with a smirk on her face.

"Aren't you precious? It's chocolate tiramisu! And a great bottle of vino
to boot!" Lorne went to work quickly, pulling the hospital bed's table over
across William's legs and placing two covered plates upon it. He uncorked
and poured the red wine then placed two lit candles there as well. He
unveiled the gourmet meal, which filled the room with a heavenly scent.
Before leaving the room he gave Buffy a wink then switched off the overhead
lights, giving the room a peaceful, romantic ambiance.

"Um, Miss Buffy...if I may ask..." William said.

"Lorne's a demon, but he's good demon. Just, um...doesn't dinner look
amazing?"

"Yes, rather. Would you join me?" He looked down at their clasped hands and
gave it an encouraging squeeze. She rose from the chair and let him guide
her around so she could sit on the bed across from him over the table. He
felt self-conscious to have her that much closer to him, but thankfully the
two candles gave enough light to only illuminate the table and their faces.
He picked up his wine glass and she did the same. They clinked them
together and tasted the wine, then ate a quiet dinner together.

By the time they reached the dessert, they were able to relax and just be
in each other's company. Often William found himself staring at Buffy,
smiling when she made appreciative moans of delight over her food. He was
quite taken with her and her astonishing beauty.

"Mmmmm, you've got to taste this!" Buffy exclaimed, holding her fork out
for him with a helping of dessert on it. He was skeptical but obediently
opened his mouth. There was something incredibly erotic to him about her
feeding him. When the sweetness reached his mouth and shudder of arousal
ran through him. He was eternally grateful for the lack of light, the
covering of several blankets as well as the table across his lap. Buffy was
looking at him with a curious expression that made him feel self-conscious.
Buffy must have picked up on his uneasiness and withdrew the fork from his
mouth. "I've missed you, that's all."

"I wish I could remember."

"I miss having your face be the last thing I see when I go to sleep and the
first thing when I wake up."

"We're not married, are we?"

"No, we're not. I'm sorry."

"Why not? If we love each other so much, how is it that we are not wed?
Have I even spoken, are we engaged?"

"William, please don't be upset."

"But we were lovers?" Buffy nodded her head and William felt a pang go
straight to his heart. "What sort of knave was I to misuse you so without
having given you my name? Had a home for us?"

"It would've happened sooner or later. No man has ever loved me as much as
you. You worshipped me, even when I didn't deserve it."

"How could you not be deserving?"

"William, if you remembered...I treated you so horribly. I want to ask for
forgiveness, but I'm not...I mean..."

"It's forgiven, whatever it was." Sensing that she was about to begin
crying again, he took a generous helping of his dessert and presented it to
it. "It is quite exquisite. Have some of mine." She accepted the food and
smiled at him. They ate their dessert, each feeding the other from their dish.

A certain romance settled around the couple and it terrified them both to
such an extent that they didn't dare to question it. William had never
spent such a length of time alone with a woman, especially in so intimate a
setting. Part of it thrilled him, and part of him was still a bundle of nerves.

"Did you want to leave the hospital tonight?" Buffy asked out of the blue.
The dessert was finished and there was nothing else to distract them.

"I could?"

"You're not a prisoner. You must live somewhere. I can ask Angel and you
could go home tonight."

"To be in my own house? Yes, I'd like that very much. I'll be honest, this
place disturbs me. There's a certain malevolence that seems to coat the
very walls with an impenetrable thickness. I didn't feel a spec of ease
until I saw...until I saw you." Buffy moved the hospital table away and
inched close to William, taking her hands in his. There were already tears
in her eyes. "Shhhh, don't cry. I can't bear to see you cry."

"I love you, even if you don't remember, please tell me there's a chance.
Just a tiny glimmer of hope for us?"

"I see it. I've tried not to for some reason, even as I sat here this
evening with you. It's so hard to trust anyone, you see. But I see it,
darling Buffy, in your eyes. We do love each other, don't we?" Buffy nodded
her head, her emotions still getting the better of her. Boldly, William
leaned forward, capture her lips with his. She gasped, surprised by his
actions, but quickly melted into him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

For the second kiss he'd ever experienced, William was eager to abandon
himself to the sensations fully. He paid no mind to his inhibitions or the
persistent little voice in his head telling him he should be ashamed of
himself. Of their own volition his hands rested themselves at Buffy's hips,
pulling her close. He leaned back and she followed until she lay atop him.
The evidence of his arousal pressed into her and that served only to
intensify the fervor of their kiss.

Buffy straddled him and began to grind herself against him, creating a
wonderful friction for them both. The only things separating them were her
lace panties and the bed sheet. William realized that if Buffy continued
what she was doing he could embarrass himself. Reluctantly he pushed her
back and made to move away from her. Rejected, Buffy's slid off the bed,
feeling uncomfortable herself.

Clutching the covers close to his middle, William begged for his erection
to disappear. He felt as if he was drowning, being in so unfamiliar a place
and situation. He wanted to comfort the obviously hurt girl in his
presence, but could find no words.

"I'll make sure Angel knows that you want to go home," Buffy began, her
voice shaky. "I'm sure he'll be able to have someone drive you. If you want
I can leave my address and phone number. In case you ever wanted to write
or talk."

"Miss Buffy..."

"Right, I should go."

"No, darling, please don't." William huffed out a breath in frustration.
Summoning all his courage, he continued. "I've made a grave error here."

"No! No, it was totally me! I've always come on too strong." She was
beginning to back away towards the door and when he made a move to stop
her, he was reminded that he was not in a state to come out from under the
covers. "Um...bye..."

"NO!" His outcry stopped her cold. He took a moment to calm himself and
then extended his hand to her. "Come back here, if you please." Buffy did
as he asked, slipping her hand into his. He brought her palm to his lips
and placed a gentle, long kiss there. "Please. I don't want to be alone."

"I won't go."

"I want to go home. I want us to go home. Please?"

***

It had taken some coaxing to get William into the limousine Angel had
provided. The very concept of a horseless carriage unnerved him. After
bidding his new friends at Wolfram and Hart farewell, and accepting the
gift of a smart new pair of spectacles, William and Buffy were taken to
Spike's apartment. William had dressed in Spike's clothing, which even
Buffy could see didn't suit him. He wore Spike's skin and his clothes, but
the man inside the body was quiet and timid, unknowing of the vast evils of
the world. He hadn't let go of her hand since they'd left the hospital.

After being dropped off at the humble apartment building, Buffy had found
his door, not surprised it was the basement suite. The keys had been in the
duster's pocket and she took them from William and unlocked the door.
"Seems rather a glum hole in the ground, doesn't it?" William remarked.
"This isn't what I would have chosen. No sunlight."

"You're not so much a fan of sunshine nowadays. And it's not a hole in the
ground, it's cozy. Like a Hobbit house."

"A what?"

"Never mind. Besides, knowing you I'm sure it's warm, full of nice things
and books."

"Yes, I could do with the comfort of a few good books."

"I was hoping you'd let me take care of the comforty side of things. I'm a
lot more snuggly than a book." She opened the door and William motioned for
her to enter first. He followed in behind, carrying her suitcase. He'd
insisted, as a gentleman. Once inside, Buffy closed and locked the door
behind them, then searched for a light switch. She fumbled around in the
dark until she found a lamp and switched it on. They both took a moment to
look at their surroundings. They found themselves under whelmed.

"It seems I lived a rather Spartan existence," William commented, a frown
on his face. He put down Buffy's suitcase and took off his coat, finding a
hook for it on the back of the door. Buffy moved through the home, taking
in the little touches that made it Spike's.

"It's not," Buffy eventually replied. "Look over there." She pointed to an
area near the couch. There was a set of shelves, filled to the brim with
books. William walked over to them and knelt down. An instant smile
appeared on his face. They were all his favorites. "So it's a little
sparse, but I know you live here."

Off to the right of them was the bedroom, which interested Buffy greatly.
The bed was small, but covered with several layers of heavy blankets. Spike
had never been able to tolerate sleeping cold. She'd learnt in their last
few nights together before the end of Sunnydale, that Spike craved heat.
He'd insisted on wrapping both arms and legs around her body as they'd
slept, absorbing every molecule of her body heat. Above the bed was pinned
several sketches of her. She remembered he was an artist.

William came up behind her and she sensed him. "What ought we to do now?"
William asked in a quiet voice.

"You've been in that rotten hospital and I've been traveling all day. I
think a bath is what we ought to do."

"B...bath? As in..."

"Together." Buffy approached him slowly, until they were close enough for
her to lay her hands on his chest. "Hot water, bubbles, our naked bodies
pressed together..." William audibly gulped and she was sure, despite his
undead state, that he was blushing. There was no doubt that the idea
enticed him, evident in the large bulge that filled the front of his jeans.
She craned her neck upwards and kissed his chin, then gave it a little
nibble. "Would you like that? William?" She said his name in such a way he
felt as if she'd pulled out his spine. He leaned into her palms and her
lips continued a trail over his jaw line then down his throat. "Come on,
sweetheart. You want to, don't you?"

"Yes...oh god yes." She took his hand and walked them towards what she
presumed was the bathroom. She closed the door behind them before he had a
chance to change his mind. Buffy was pleased to find that Spike kept a
collection of candles on the counter and a book of matches beside them.
After lighting the first one, Buffy turned out the lights and went about
arranging the pillars of various shapes and sizes around the small
bathroom. William stayed in the corner and watched her, enthralled.

Buffy ran the bath water, making it as hot as she could tolerate it on her
hand. Beside the taps was a bottle of vanilla scented bubblebath, the brand
that she herself preferred. It was certainly no coincidence that Spike had
it also. As the bubbles formed into a paradise of white and the bath
filled, Buffy went about undressing herself. As each article of clothing
was removed, she inched a little closer to William. When she was down to
only her undergarments, she was mere inches from William.

She watched him watch her as she reached behind her back and unhooked her
bra. His mouth was agape as he stared at her breasts, succulent like cream
with summer berries at the tips. He wanted desperately to touch them.
Before he worked up the nerve to move his hands, she went to task at
untying the little bows at her hips. She slipped her panties off and put
them in one of his hands. The cloth was damp to the touch, and the softest
texture he'd ever had the pleasure of feeling.

Buffy took his other hand and placed it on her behind. Too overcome to
react, William stood motionless, cupping her bottom. Taking the initiative,
as she had since they'd arrived; she pulled his t-shirt from his jeans,
then over his head and off. He was loathed to move his hand from her flesh,
but relented when she giggled at him. Next his belt was undone, then the
fly of his jeans. His cock, fully erect sprang out and into Buffy's hand.
William's back hit hard against the door and his eyes rolled back in his head.

"Not yet," Buffy whispered, letting him go. She pulled down his pants and
helped him out of them and his shoes. Then removed his spectacles and
placed them on the counter. When she touched his face his eyes opened. He
was shaking from nerves. "Let me love you." He nodded and followed her over
to the bathtub. She turned off the water and motioned for him to get in
first. At first contact with his skin to the water he hissed in a breath,
but weathered it and sunk into the full bath until only his head was
visible above the bubbles. Instead of joining him, Buffy knelt down by the
side of the tub. He looked back at her, uncertain and perhaps even a little
frightened. By his shoulder was a loofah, which Buffy took up in her hand.
She squeezed a little more of the bubblebath on to it, then reached into
the tub for his arm. She washed him gently, slowly, letting them reacquaint
themselves with the other's touch.

William watched her, every second on the verge of weeping. It was evident,
with her every worshipful motion, with her devotion to the ritual of
cleaning him, the she loved him. She moved over his chest, his other arm,
made him lean forward so she could get his back as well. She moved to his
stomach, her arm brushing against his still strong arousal. He caught her
hand suddenly, halting her motions and breaking the spell they'd both been
under. Without say a word, he asked her to join him. Effortlessly, Buffy
slipped in beside him. The water was fragrant and hot, cocooning them and
lulling them. William brought her into his arms. With this being his first
experience at intimacy, he was uncertain of what to do next. Buffy however
knew what he needed.

During their short time together, Buffy had come to realize that William
must have been a virgin when Drusilla claimed him. If he only knew how much
he'd been through in the century that followed. Buffy would make sure his
new memories would be worthy of so kind and gallant a man. She snuggled in
close, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck while her hand
carefully, but surely wrapped itself around the base of his cock. He
squirmed a little, his hips pitching upwards, but she quieted him with soft
kisses upon his throat. Her hand was slippery from the vanilla gel, making
it slide easily up and down the length of engorged flesh. She gripped him
firmly, pumping fairly quickly, knowing he was extremely tense and already
coming unhinged. She didn't want to prolong any sort of torment he might've
been experiencing. She only wanted to give him pleasure.

William made a cry that to Buffy sounded painful. She put her mouth to his
ear, continuing to work over his cock, trying to bring him to climax. "Just
let it happen," she bade. "You're safe with me and I love you...it's okay,
baby." He sobbed when he finally came, quick white spurts of cum leaving
him. It was if years of sadness, loneliness and rejection were being
purged. Afterwards, Buffy continued with bathing him. She let the bath
water down the drain, then washed their hair under a shower.

The magic wasn't broken when William snuffed out the candles and Buffy
turned on the lights. They dried each other off, sharing kisses and
sweetheart looks. William wanted to thank her, but words seemed inadequate.
He wanted to fall to his knees and kiss her feet, kiss every inch of her body.

"Feel better?" she asked, looking for another towel for her hair.

"I do."

"I'm glad. I want you to be comfortable with me, in every way."

"I'm learning. I mean, I do, my treasure." She smiled and went to task at
getting the excess water out of her hair. William leaned against the
counter and watched her. "I'm not sure, however, that I'm prepared, that is
to say..."

"You'd like to wait a little while maybe before we make love?"

"Yes. Don't hate me."

"I could never hate you. We can wait until you're ready."

"Thank you."

"You never need to thank me. I'll do anything to make you happy."

"As will I."

"I know you will." She bent her head down to finish with her hair. William
sighed and turned around to look at himself in the mirror and was startled
but what he saw, or rather by what he didn't see. Himself.

His finger tips pressed themselves to the mirror, making archaic patterns
through the condensation. With each sweep he looked for a piece of himself
in the reflected world, but found no trace.

"But I exist..." he whispered.

"What was that, honey?" Buffy asked, wrapping the towel around her long
hair and flipping it up atop her head. She came to stand next to him,
placing her hand on his bare back. She followed his gaze to the foggy
mirror and his head tilted to look at her reflection. Her hand was raised
and he felt it against his skin, but he was still not there in the mirror.

"I...I don't understand." He stumbled back and would've fallen into the tub
and likely cracked his skull if Buffy hadn't been there to steady him.
"What magic is this?" His tone was demanding but a current of fear ran
through it. Buffy's arms encircled his waist and she laid her cheek again
his chest. He watched the ghostly pantomime of her movements in the mirror,
eyes wide and his body beginning to shake from the fear.

"It's magic. I'll explain, but let's get dry first and we'll put on some
warm clothes."

"I need to know."

"You will. It's because you're special, William." He was becoming so
agitated she thought he'd faint. Quickly, Buffy took him out of the
bathroom and led him over to the single bed. She sat him down and felt her
heart break when he wrapped his arms around torso and began to shiver. In
his drawers she found a pair of black jogging pants and passed them to him.
It took him a moment to notice what she held out to him, but eventually
took them and set about getting dressed. Once that was accomplished he
watched this compassionate young woman drop her towel to the floor and show
him her glorious nude form again. In that moment he wished he was an artist
so he could create a portrait. She fished inside her suitcase and brought
out a set of sleeping clothes with small pictographs of pigs on them.
"Chubby piggy pajamas. The cure for what ails you."

"Beg pardon?"

"My pajamas."

"Your clothes? Forgive me, but they're most peculiar." She advanced on him
and took his hand in hers, guiding it to her breast.

"But very soft, don't you think?" The boldness he'd been imbibed with
during their bath seemed to falter now and he would've drawn his hand away
from cupping the soft mound of flesh if Buffy hadn't reacted quickly. "Why
don't we get into bed? I think this will be easier if we're both relaxed,
don't you think?" He nodded his head in meek agreement and put himself down
and under the covers. Before joining him Buffy went about the apartment
turning off all the lights and locking the door. Lastly she lit a solitary
pillar candle and placed it by the bed side. She thought it was romantic,
but without realizing it the familiar form of illumination to William's
nineteenth century mind brought him considerable peace.

It was difficult to comfortably fit two people on the small bed, but Buffy
solved the problem by pressing herself flush against him and wrapping her
arm around his bare back while her other went under his neck and around his
shoulder. They shared the pillow and William squinted slightly to make out
her face properly.

"Are you comfy?" Buffy asked in a hushed voice. Truth was, William wanted
nothing more than to cower alone in a dark corner, but Buffy was so warm
and giving. He touched the towel on her head and she got the hint. She
pulled it off and tossed in on the floor. "Hair's still wet though. It'll
get cold." He leaned forward and inhaled the scent of her. Seemingly of its
own volition, his arm circled around her back and pulled her closer. "Do
you want to sleep, or talk?"

"Both. Can you explain why it is I have no reflection in the mirror?"

"Yes I can. But I'd like a promise first."

"Anything for you. I feel safe with you."

"I'm glad to hear that, because you are safe with me, William. Promise me
that you'll try to stay calm and that if you get upset, you'll keep holding
me."

"Is it grave?"

"It depends on your point of view. I don't think it is."

"In that case I promise." She tightened her arms around him and rested her
forehead against his.

"William, have you noticed your heartbeat?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your heart isn't beating." William noticed then for the first time. He
gulped audibly and squeezed Buffy tighter. "You breathe, but you don't need
to." She pressed her lips to his and held their kiss for long moments. She
felt his tears on her face. "You died many years ago, my love, and inside
your body came to live a demon who called himself Spike. Spike lived over
one hundred years and then he met me. He fell so deep in love with me that
he went in search of his missing half. His soul. You. William. He earned
it, endured many trials that almost killed him. In the end the two of you
came together and after a time you became one man. I fell in love with that
man. Something happened and now Spike's gone to sleep. But I know he's
still in there. I feel him. If he never wakes, I will still be with you,
still love you with all my heart. I love you, William...and you're a vampire."

William, safe in his love's arms, began to sob. This show of vulnerability
shamed him, but he couldn't reign in his emotions. He didn't like this new
world and all its violence and noise. He hated his dead body and he missed
England his mother. Buffy cradled him close and made soothing patterns on
his back with her hand. In an effort to keep them warm, she pulled the
covers up to their chins. After a time he stopped crying and merely
sniffled and burrowed his face into the pillow.

"Why don't you try and sleep now," Buffy whispered to him. "I'll watch over
you." It was almost too faint a whisper for her to hear, but she heard it,
the words 'I love you' coming from his mouth as he fell into dreams.

Some time during the night, they'd switched positions and William found
himself spooned behind his beloved Miss Buffy. His arms were possessively
wound around her, his hand resting under the waistband of her pajama
bottoms on her flat stomach. Her hair tickled his nose, but it was dry now
and soft as eiderdown. As the dim morning light filtered through the small
North facing window, William gazed upon the sleeping woman in his arms. His
back felt cold, but the rest of him absorbed the heat that her small body
offered him. He never wanted to leave the bed, or her side. This small
pocket inside this terrible new world was a sanctuary.

Buffy stirred slightly, and then turned over, her head and hand rest on his
chest. She sighed contentedly, but remained asleep. He thought to himself
that perhaps if he had Buffy to wade through the waters of the 21st century
with him, life would not be so grueling an experience. If there were quiet
moments like this to look forward to, life could be quite wonderful.

He quieted his mind once more, holding Buffy impossibly close, and searched
inside for the demon she called Spike. He did so with trepidation, afraid
that this thing inside him might overwhelm him and put him aside and claim
Buffy for himself. That thought alone terrified him. In a short span of one
night he'd fallen in love with her. Still, he was courageous and sought the
creature inside him. It surprised him more than he expected when he found
Spike so easily and quickly. Almost as if the demon had taken up residence
right next to the soul, he sensed Spike there, asleep, content. Upon
further investigate William realized that the demon intermingled with the
soul enough to almost make them one being. The man understood then what a
grave injustice had been done to Spike. William tapped into his memories,
both good and evil, and he came to love Spike as much as Spike had come to
love his soul.

Instead of fear and despair, William found strength. Try as he might, he
could do nothing to awake the demon. He tried to vamp out, but caused only
a mild headache. He yelled inside his head, but to no avail. Whatever had
occurred, Spike was under an enchantment and William would have to simply
wait it out. The poet mused a fairytale inside his head, but curbed such
nonsense when Buffy made soft mewling noise against his chest. He shook her
slightly in an effort to rouse her.

"Buffy, darling?" he coaxed.

"Hmmm?"

"Time to awake, dearest."

"Spike?"

"No, love, it's me...William."

"Wha...? Oh!" She sat up quickly, making her head spin. He brought her back
down to him and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"Lay a moment longer, or you'll make yourself ill."

"No, I mean I didn't...I'm sorry I called you Spike, I know you're William."

"Think nothing of it."

"It's not fair to you, I know you're not him."

"Not at the moment, but perhaps again someday. I can feel him inside, just
as you did. He certainly does love you to the ends of the Earth and back
doesn't he?"

"Yeah, he does. I love him too. I love you, William." She looked up at him
with bright, hopeful eyes and he couldn't help but succumb. He leaned down
and captured her lips with his own. Only last night had be been kissed for
the first time, however this morning Buffy wondered if he could teach her a
few things. He tongue curled around hers and drew it into his mouth,
deepening the kiss. The movement of his hands were bold, one moving under
her top and taking hold of her breast, squeezing gently, the other cupping
her bottom and squeezing not so gently. Buffy gave a little squeak of
surprise, but only increase her fervor for kissing him back. Their reverie
was interrupted by a low gurgling growl.

"Sorry," Buffy murmured against his mouth. They continued kissing, but the
sound arose again.

"You're hungry."

"Never mind...more kissing. Hungry for you William." She wrapped her arms
around his neck and resumed their fevered kissing. Her empty tummy let
itself be known again and Buffy pouted when she felt him begin to chuckle.

"We ought to feed you, my sweet." She turned on the patented Buffy Summers
pout. Having never seen it in action before, William was helpless. Little
did Buffy know that for all his innocence, William could be exceptionally
charming and persuasive when properly motivated. He pulled her on to his
lap and snuggled her close. "When I was a boy I barely slept I had so much
energy. I was up every morning with the sun. At the country estate..."

"You had an estate?"

"Several. Quiet now darling. I wouldn't bother to change out of my evening
gown and would run with bare feet on the cold marble all the way downstairs
to the kitchen. Soon enough the cook knew to have my breakfast waiting. I'd
have scones with clotted cream and strawberries, a soft boiled egg,
sausages, fried potatoes in rosemary...the potatoes were my favorite, a few
rashes of bacon, fried bread and tomatoes..."

"I don't think I could eat that much in a day." Her stomach rumbled loudly
and William patted it affectionately.

"Of course was always a fine array of pastries. I'd top it off with a slice
of apple pie..."

"Okay, fine, I give in."

"Jolly good. Frankly, I'm famished too."

"Oh! There's probably blood in the fridge."

"Bl..blood?"

"For you, the vampire."

"I don't think I could."

"You'll need it to stay strong. Spike needs it. Okay, how's about this.
I'll run to that market on the corner and get everything we need for that
big breakfast you just described. While it's cooking you can chug down a
mug of blood and wash the taste away with some real food?"

"Agreed. For Spike. I am ashamed to say it...but I like having this time
alone with you. I fear I shall disappear when he returns."

"You won't disappear. Spike won't let you and neither will I. We both love
you."

"And I...I love you, Buffy." The smile that lit up her face made his heart
beat faster. Buffy threw her arms around him and squeezed until he made a
painful sound from the lack of air in his lungs.

"Oh! Sorry." She released him and he gasped for breath. "It's just really
good to hear those words."

"And why should you not? You say them often enough to me." She hugged him
again and got off the bed, in search of her clothes.

"I won't be long and then we'll get started on breakfast. You know how to
cook right? Because Buffy and hot frying things usually results in fire.
Fire bad."

"I watched the cook enough times I'm sure I can manage. Be sure to get
everything I mentioned."

"I'll do my best, honey." She pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank top
quickly, not bothering with undergarments and snatched a couple of twenty
dollar bills from her purse. She tied her hair back in a pony tail, put on
her sneakers and made for the door. "Love you," she called back and then
she was gone.

William reclined back on the bed and sighed. Now that he was alone he had
time to process the whirlwind he'd gone through since the previous night.
After enduring the first bit of nerves of Buffy's unwavering affection and
attention, he found that he and she were extremely comfortable with each
other. He wanted to spend every moment with her for the next thousand
years. Now that she was gone he missed her terribly. But she'd be back soon
enough. The world outside was strange and chaotic, but he didn't feel much
different than he had in the old world he knew. He still was still just
William, a man looking for the beauty in life and he'd found it and she'd
found him. She'd come from the other side of the world to claim him.

Furthermore in the short span of one night he'd had more intimate contact
with a woman than he had his whole life. The first thing Buffy had done was
kiss him, passionately. There'd been more touches during dinner and then
the car ride to the apartment. When she'd suggested a nice hot bath to calm
their nerves his had in fact increased exponentially. Though once they were
alone in the steam filled room and disrobing, a certain amount of
familiarity and desire began to course through him. She'd made him cum in
her hands and it had been the most erotic experience in his whole life. The
memory of it was making him hard again. It didn't embarrass him the way it
used to. He looked at his tented trousers, feeling very lustful for his
Miss Buffy's company and made a decision. He wanted to be her lover.

He pulled off his jogging pants and tossed them aside. He wrapped his left
hand around his cock and gave it a tug. He groaned loudly and shuddered.
He'd only done this a few times in the past, but quickly felt ashamed
afterwards. He couldn't help himself now and wrapped his fist around the
thick shaft and began to pump up and down the length of it. He closed his
eyes and pictured Buffy.

"Buffy..." he sighed as he let his inhibitions go. He remembered how Buffy
knew precisely which spots on his cock to touch and how to touch them. She
was more familiar with it than he was it seemed. Not at present however, as
William spread his precum over the head of his cock, then on the underside,
letting his palm slide easily with his up and down motions.
"Ugh...uhhh...Buffy..."

After a frustrating amount of time, William was straining to achieve his
release. Something was keeping him just on edge, his entire body thrumming
with ecstasy, but unable to reach climax. He grunted angrily and worked his
fist faster. His head began to hurt and his arm was tired. He was about to
give up when a soft caress fluttered across his brow. He opened his eyes
and saw her there. Instantly he was mortified at Buffy catching him and he
quickly shrank from her.

"Careful!" she said, laying her arm across his chest. "You'll fall off the
bed." He sat down next to him and looked at his straining erection. To her
mind it looked rather painful. "Why don't you let me take care of that for
you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, and don't be embarrassed. I heard you call my name. Were you
thinking about me?" She gently pried his fingers away from his stiff prick,
massaging his tired hand a little. She reached over to her suitcase and
brought out a tube of lotion, squeezing some into her hand. William gasped
when the cold cream came in contact with his flesh. She gently massaged and
soothed him, letting him relax. She smiled sweetly at him and he sighed.
"Couldn't wait for me to come back?"

"Yes, to both questions." Having exhausted himself, his voice was only a
whisper.

"Tell me what we were doing? I want to know your fantasies." She continued
her careful, quiet attentions, but looked only in his eyes.

"We were...making love....and..."

"Go on...."

"I've never been with anyone before..."

"I know, sweetheart, but you will. Maybe this afternoon? We don't have any
obligations."

"I'd like to go for a walk outside."

"Not until night, vampire, remember?"

"No, I'd forgotten. Buffy, my love, I do want to be with you...we've
already done many...acts..." Still she held his cock in her hand, keeping
him aroused, but assuaging his pain and anxiety.

"It's called expressing our love, silly. Now I don't know about you, but
there's still a rumbly in my tumbly and I wanna make pancakes. So..."
Without further contemplation, Buffy engulfed his cock with her mouth and
took him down her throat.

"Oh god! Oh Buffy, whatever are you...??" She sucked him greedily, as she
bobbed her head up and down the length of him, building up an intense
pressure. William gripped fistfuls of the quilt and thrust his hips up to
meet her descent. Her hands caressed his thighs, then one cupped his balls,
squeezing gently. With a strangled cry he finally came, and she swallowed
down the long stream of his release. After his limp cock left her mouth,
she bestowed many loving kisses upon it.

She crawled up next to William on the bed and hugged him. "Better?" she
asked before she kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, yes." He wiped his hand across his brow, expecting but finding
no perspiration, feeling his headache all the more. "I think I'm ill."

"You're okay, just a little over excited. You need the blood to keep your
body strong. You'll feel one hundred percent better once you get a cup down
you. I've got the groceries, so we can make enough food to make ourselves
all fat and loopy." Buffy kissed him again and rose from the bed, pulling
him with up with her. "Breakfast is more fun when you're naked."

Once again Buffy removed her clothing and William in drank her in like a
sweet wine. His self-consciousness was diminishing rapidly, more and more
whenever he was shown her fully nude body. Hesitantly he approached her,
settling his hand on her shoulder. She craned her neck to one side and his
other hand pulled her hair back. He pressed his lips to her shoulder,
moving upwards until he was at her ear. "Are you mine?"

"I'm yours, William." He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her
back against him.

"Thank you."

"Don't ever need to thank me, we've earned our happiness. And breakfast."

"Yes, of course my dear. We ought naught to delay a moment longer lest we
waste away to bones." Buffy giggled. It was going to take some time to get
used to the way he talked. They made their way over to the kitchen area
where Buffy had put the grocery bags.

"Okay, you get the pans out and get the burners hummin' and we'll get down
to business before we get down to business." William found the frying pans
easily enough, but was confounded when it came to the oven.

"Darling? How does one..." She came over with a package of bacon and a
carton of eggs and placed them on the counter.

"It's electric, so you just turned the dial here." She demonstrated, and
then allowed him to hold his hand above the burner to feel the heat.

"Remarkable."

"But really hot, so watch yourself." He set about laying the strips of
bacon in the pan and they immediately began to sizzle. Next he unwrapped
the sausages from their brown paper and laid them in the large pan as well.
Buffy was busy setting the table and pouring them orange juice. She then
put coffee and water in the coffee maker, proceeding next to the
preparation of the pancakes. Meanwhile William cracked several eggs into a
bowl and whisked them with a fork. Buffy sauntered up next to him at the
stove. She placed a slice of butter in her own pan, then turned on the
burner and watched it melt.

"I cheated and bought the premixed stuff," Buffy explained, showing him a
milk carton. "I've had it before though, it's really delish. I got maple
syrup to go with it."

"I'm sure it will be a treat. Do you do this sort of thing often?" Buffy
spread the butter around the pan with a spatula then poured in the batter
for silver dollar pancakes.

"Cook in the nude? Or just cook?"

"Either."

"I'm a kitchen virgin...Buffy doesn't cook, Buffy ruins water. But I've
been practicing, I'm not so bad anymore. Pancakes are easy, just wait for
the little bubbles, then flip!"

"Sound logic I'm sure." He stifled a rather un-masculine giggle and Buffy
gasped at his audacity. She reacted and gave his bare bottom a good swat.
"You're a wicked woman. If I weren't standing before a pan of frying
grease, I'd take you over my knee!" Buffy practically purred at his
admission. Her hand cupped one of his tight white bum cheeks, leaning in close.

"Promise, lover?" She caught his hand before he dropped his spatula in the
pan and sprayed them with boiling fat. "Sorry."

"No, no, quite all right."

"You're crimson red, honey." He was deeply embarrassed, but Buffy kissed
his shoulder and flipped their pancakes. "Is it time for the eggs yet?"

"Soon, yes, where's the bread?" She turned around and grabbed the loaf off
the table and handed it to him. He lay two slices in with the bacon and
sausages and Buffy scrunched up her face. "Trust me, dearest, you'll love it."

"I'm not sure my heart will! Tomorrow we're having fruit salad and
oatmeal." He pushed the bread to the side and pour in the egg mixture,
letting it settle up before moving it around the pan.

"Perhaps we'll do this only on anniversaries."

"Agreed. But can we do the naked breakfast thing lots?"

"Of course."

"Good. Okay, I'm good to go here, how about you?"

"Everything's ready. Fetch the plates, princess."

"Princess?"

"I'm your loyal subject."

"No, you're my partner." She retrieved the plates and he filled their
plates to overflowing. Buffy brought their coffee to the table and pulled
her chair close to his. "Okay vinyl seats are not of the good. I'm sticky,
and not the good kind." Dutifully, William retrieved two cushions from the
couch for them. "Much better, you always take such good care of me."

"I hope so...I don't remember."

"You did. This is nice, don't you think? Just us being us."

"It is, tuck in." He motioned to her plate, but first she liberally poured
the syrup over both their plates. At the first combined mouthful of eggs,
pancake and bacon, Buffy moaned in appreciation. William echoed that
sentiment. For someone so tiny, he took note of how she wolfed down her
food. "I thought I was the one who didn't need to breathe?" Buffy looked up
from her plate, rather embarrassed.

"Sorry...was kinda hungry. Guess my manners leave something to be desired,
huh? You're probably used to girls who sit up straight and eat like little
birdies?"

"Buffy, my heart, there is nothing about you that isn't perfection in my eyes."

"You're being nice."

"I'm a gentleman, but I'm no liar. As for manners, they're hardly something
mind when we're alone together. You are beautiful in all your faults. Not
that you have any, because you don't."

"Nice save. How's your food?"

"Spectacular. I've missed this sort of thing; it's been years since I had a
good fry up."

"I bought scones for tea time, and tea! They didn't have any clotted cream,
but I got strawberry jam instead."

"Brilliant! That was very thoughtful of you, dear."

"You're far from home, so I thought it might make things more bearable
until we decide what to do."

"I miss England, greatly, but wherever you are, my love, is home." He took
her hand in his and held whilst they finished their breakfast. Afterwards,
Buffy piled the dishes in the sink, deciding they could clean up later.
William first retrieve his spectacles from the bathroom, then swept the
quilt off of the bed and spread it out on the couch, then chose a book off
of the book shelf and guided Buffy over to the couch. He reclined
comfortably, and then invited her to lie in his arms. He wrapped the quilt
around them both and opened the book. "Morning and evening Maids heard the
goblins cry: "Come buy our orchard fruits, Come buy, come buy: Apples and
quinces, Lemons and oranges, Plump unpicked cherries- Melons and
raspberries, Bloom-down-cheeked peaches...." Buffy reclined against
William's chest and let the dulcet cadence of his voice lull her as he
recited the poetry. Her hands caressed the arms that were wound around her
waist and she smiled to herself, listening intently to his recital.

He definitely had a way about him that reminded her of Spike, full of
passion and feeling, but when the times were quiet he was subdued and romantic.

"Don't fall asleep on me, love," William said, kissing the top of her head.

"I wasn't, you read beautifully."

"Mother always said so."

"I wish I could've known her. My mom loved you."

"She did?"

"Mmm hmmm."

"You two go on famously. You'd sit together and talk for hours over cups of
hot cocoa."

"It was always just mother and I..."

"Us too, except there's Dawn, my sister. You were her best friend, she
idolized you."

"I miss family."

"Well you have one now. When should we go to England?"

"I'd like to say goodbye to our friends at Wolfram and Hart, they were very
kind to me. But I'd like to go soon, I need a place where my feet can walk
on the soil my ancestors once stood. I need to feel the connection to the
land; I'll find peace there in your arms."

"William?"

"Yes, my treasure?"

"Make love to me?" He lay the book down on the coffee table, and then
tightened his arms around her waist.

"There is nothing I'd like more in all the world to be with you, darling.
But I've afraid I've never....rather, to say, I do not know how to please a
woman."

"You know how, William."

"Where ought I to start?" Buffy rose to her feet and William's grabbed for
her, not wanting to endure a single second of not touching her. Se grasped
his hand and pulled him with her back to the bedroom. Buffy lay down on the
small bed, resting her head on the pillow and spreading her legs, inviting
him to lay himself between them. Still holding his hand, she'd tugged him
forward until he got the idea. William eased himself down atop her,
nestling his rapidly growing erection between the cradle of her thighs.

"I thought we'd start with the traditional way, work ourselves up from
there. You can start with a kiss, William. We already know you're really
good at that! Let's take these off first..." She reached up and removed he
spectacles, setting them aside. He eased down and brushed his lips across
hers, then let his weight settle upon her as he capture her lips with his.
He tongue caressed hers, careful yet urgent, still learning. Buffy wrapped
her arms around his neck and kept him close, encouraging him with running
her fingers through his curly hair. She was never going to let him slick it
back again as Spike had.

The evidence of his arousal stiffened against her, nudging at her opening.
He felt the head of his cock dip inside her and pulled away from the kiss.

"I..." he began, voice wavering, "What now? What should I do?" Buffy smiled
kindly up at him, her heart going out to him in all his innocence. He hands
traveled down his back and ribs, then cupped the globes of his ass and
pulled him into her. He shuddered as he felt her slick walls stretch to
accommodate his girth. He never thought anything in the world could feel so
blissful. Nor so tight. He fit inside her perfectly, as if they'd been made
for each other. "Oh god!"

"I know, baby....I've missed you so much!" He looked at her with tears in
his eyes.

"This is love, isn't it Buffy? All those dreams I had, all the words that
poured from my heart. This was what I'd been searching for. I love you. I
love you!" With each syllable uttered his hips began to move, thrusting and
getting used to the sensations. Buffy's knees rose up to allow him a deeper
penetration. Her hands roamed over his naked back, encouraging him on,
gasping when he stroked just the right places inside her.

"This is love, William."

"Is it me you lo..."

"You, William, I love you. No matter what, I'll always love you!"



A year and some months later...

"Quickly!" William shouted, hoping his voice could be heard over the
torrential downpour he and his wife were presently running through. Hand in
hand they crossed the street is a mad dash for cover. They'd enjoyed a cool
early winter's walk around the perimeter of the park after dinner. Tonight
was their one year wedding anniversary and William had insisted they
celebrate in style. First things first, he took her shopping for diamond
earrings to match the solitaire she wore on her finger. His position as
Giles' right hand man in the New Watcher's Council came with a handsome
salary. William was very pleased to know, that despite the demon inside him
being dormant, he still had Spike's strength and stamina, much to Buffy's
pleasure. Unfortunately he did have to abide by the normal rules of a
vampire's life, mainly staying away from the sun.

When the rain began, the pair broke into a sprint towards home. Buffy
slipped once in her far too high heels, but William kept her up and kept
them running. They'd neglected to bring along an umbrella. They reached the
stoop of their apartment, the eaves barely shielding them from the heavy
drops. William fumbled for his keys inside the pockets of the black leather
duster he wore continuously in Spike's honor. Finally he produced them and
with cold, trembling hands managed to unlock the door. Finally out of the
rain they began to laugh.

Leaving a river of wetness behind them as they ascended the stairs to their
top floor loft, the pair stumbling over each other, unable to break apart
their vigorous mouths from devouring their mate's.

"Pet, mmmm...just...mmmm...a..." William tried to speak around her mouth.
"Must...ahhh...door....."

"I want you..." Buffy breathed out, her hands already unbuttoning his suit
jacket and unbuckling his belt. Successfully, Buffy accomplished her task
before he could open the door, she pulled out his impressive erection and
began to stroke it.

"Buffy!"

"Get the door open or I'm going down on you in the hallway!" Quick as
lightening he inserted the key into the lock and opened their front door.
He managed to retrieve the key before Buffy shoved him through the door. He
knew what she wanted and where she wanted it. As he closed the door and
locked it again, Buffy pulled his coat off his shoulders, then the suit
jacket, yanking down his tie, but before she could tear open his shirt, he
stalled her motions.

"I'll start a fire, you get the wine." She exhaled, suddenly embarrassed at
her actions, though he certainly wasn't. His hands wrapped themselves
around her neck, then down her shoulders. "I want to ravish you in the
dark, the fire alighting our skin while the rain crashes against the
windows. I want you on your hands and knees, panting like you're in heat
for me, begging for my cock..." Speechless after that little command, Buffy
went to the kitchen and retrieved the chilled white wine they'd put in the
fridge before going out, and two glasses. She returned to the living room
where William was stoking the fire, already naked. He'd discarded his wet
clothes by the front door. He was almost always prim and proper, but
tonight they hadn't a care in the world.

Over the course of the past year or so, Buffy had discovered that her
irrepressible poet was a more integral part of Spike than she'd known.
William was all about passion, with the odd kink thrown in for good
measure. When they were alone he wasn't shy about anything anymore, least
of all sex. It took him a while to gain comfort in sometimes being the one
in control, but once he got a taste of it, he loved it and so did Buffy.
She knew that when he'd lived he'd had no opportunities to be a man, merely
seeing to the affairs of his estate and caring for his ailing mother. Buffy
let William be himself and he'd proved to be the kindest, most passionate
and amazing man she'd ever known.

She came over to him and handed him the bottle and glasses before disrobing
and coming down to the sheepskin rug that lay before the roaring fire. He
poured them each a glass and waited for her to join him.

"I've changed my mind," he said, giving her the wine glass. Buffy curled up
next to him and they watched the fire together, sipping their wine.

"About what?"

"I'd like to make love to you slowly instead, like our first time.
Celebrate it. I don't want to be some horrid brute."

"That's not what you are, and it's not like I can't handle it. Still the
Slayer here."

"It is...enjoyable...on occasion, but I prefer it slow and tender." She
leaned in and kissed him sweetly. "Your hair's soaking wet."

"I was in the rain. You're cold."

"I'll be warm soon enough. A toast first."

"Alright." Holding his glass up, William cleared his throat and began.

"Buffy, my love, my wife......my...this........wife....day....." William's
words fell away and were replaced by a sudden tremor that made his entire
body shake. "Take.....the......glass..." Most of the wine spilled as a now
panicking Buffy took the wine glass from him before it shattered in his hand.

"William? Tell me what's the matter!" He gripped his head, moaning in
sudden and violent agony. When Buffy touched him he leapt forward, throwing
them both several feet across the room. He landed on top of her, cock
shockingly hard against her thigh. He gripped her shoulders with bruising
force and it took Buffy several seconds to come back to herself.

When she opened her eyes she was at first dizzy and the fire seemed too
close and too bright, but soon enough she realized it wasn't the fire, but
the yellow eyes of a demon. "Spike?!" Buffy cried, in too much shock to
react beyond the calling of his name. He snarled viciously and lunged for
her throat.

The Slayer could have stopped him, but for a reason she couldn't formulate
into rational thought, she didn't. His fangs sliced through her skin and
delved deep into the vein. The vampire sucked ravenously, pulling her blood
from her body, ignoring her protests as she struggled beneath him.

"Spike..." Buffy cried quietly, feeling unbelievably dizzy and ill from
such a sudden loss of her blood. "Spike, stop...please!! Spike!"

Her words finally penetrated his psyche and he realized she was in pain,
what he was doing and his own state of arousal. Suddenly horrible images
from their past flashed through his mind. He let out a wounded, panicked
cry and pushed himself off her, skittering back across the rug until he hit
the arm chair. Buffy was weak and disoriented, but managed to crawl towards
him. The closer she got, the better she could hear the disturbing words
pouring nonsensically from his mouth.

"Hurt...hurt the girl...hurt my girl...my Buffy....I'm all dirty again,
never come clean....can't....Buffy, don't let him send me away, you've been
mine for a year.......died for her, I did...."

When Buffy reached him he began to sob, shrinking from her and curling
himself into a ball, trying to hide. Gently she took hold of his hands and
put them around her waist, then with her own she cupped his face and
directed him to look at her.

"Baby, listen to me, you're not dirty. You don't have to be afraid."

"I hurt you." He wanted to look away in shame, but her eyes were so full of
love and offering him solace, he couldn't turn away.

"No you didn't, you were hungry, I understand. It's alright. I promise."

"No alright...never alright......never again. Too much...shouting."

"William, Spike...you did it before, you can do it again. You guys learned
to work together, to be one man. You're not alone this time. You know I
love you, right? No matter who you are or who you become, I love both the
demon and the soul. I love you."

"Love you..." He reached up and touched the blood that trickled down her
chest, he smeared it with his fingertips, drawing the same patterns on her
skin as William had on the bathroom mirror so long ago.

"C'mere." She pulled him forward until she could encompass him in her arms,
laying his head on the pillows of her breasts. He snuggled in close to her
as if he were a small child.

"M'cold."

"Not on the outside, honey, the fire's very warm. Let yourself feel it, let
me warm you up."

"I've ruined your anniversary. Sorry."

"Nothing's ruined, we're together, we have so much to celebrate. Like how
much we love each other. Will...Spike....I don't know what to call you."

"William. Please. Don't think I should be Spike anymore."

"You're still him...the name isn't important. But I like William, I'm used
to it."

"Your husband's name, William Covington, the name you took on your wedding
day."

"Yeah." She began to stoke his hair, it was in bad need of a cut, but Buffy
liked it long and curly. "Do you remember how I tripped on the hem of my
dress when I was walking down the aisle? Good thing Giles was there
otherwise I would've fallen flat on my face!"

"I remember....I was nervous...afraid you'd turn and run." She smiled to
herself. It was good to get him talking. Now she had to get his other half
to open up too.

"Do you remember also that time...after you'd come home from being held
prisoner by the First Evil? It was the night we took the Potentials out for
training in the graveyard? I hurt your ribs when we were
demonstrating....anyways, after we took the girls back to the house, we
went out by ourselves."

"You held my hand."

"We walked all over Sunnydale and didn't see a single vampire or demon. It
was just you and me."

"You held my hand the whole time. Like you were my girl."

"I think I was, or starting to be."

"You kissed my cheek n' told me you were happy I was there. I nearly cried."

"I could see it, I wished I had something to say...but I'm not good with
words, I was terrible with them back then."

"Keep talking to me, Buffy. Just...need to hear your voice...need you here."

"I'm not going anywhere, you know that."

"I'm scared....William, he doesn't want to go away....Spike, doesn't know
if you love him. I...I'm me, love, but I don't know which I am...who am I?"

"The man I love. I know you're hurt and confused and it's going to be
tough, for the soul and demon to merge properly, but you've done it before
and can do it again. William, after the past year and a half, you must know
how vital you are to me. We're married. We know everything about each
other. You know everything Spike knew. As for Spike...lemme see your face."
He looked up at her, eyes full of tears, full of fear. "Come on, for me?"
He changed and was humbled by her sweet smile, welcoming him home. She
guided his fanged mouth to her breast, offering her blood and the intimacy
of drawing it from her nipple.

He cast an uncertain look in her eyes and was rewarded by her hand at the
back of his head bringing him to her. He closed his eyes and closed his
mouth around the sweet flesh. When he bit into her she gasped in pleasure
and rocked them gently. Her breathy sigh and the rapid beat of her heart
encouraged him and he suckled urgently, gaining strength not from her
blood, but from the love she infused him with.

Buffy lay herself back, taking her vampire with her until they lay sprawled
on the sheepskin rug before the blazing fire. Once he was satiated, he let
the ripe breast slip from his mouth. Her skin glistened in the fire light
and there wasn't a drop of blood spilled. Buffy saw the puncture wounds and
smiled, comforted. She pulled him up and opened her thighs to him, cradling
his hips between hers. The vampire face faded away and the more familiar
one appeared.

"I think..." he began, "That I would like to always be called William. I
think that's who I am now...not the man when I died, not the demon I
was...not even the man that came back from Africa. I'm your husband, I live
in this flat, I live to love you. I'm not too sure just who I am, love."

"We'll figure it out together." He sunk his cock into her moist quim, and
then they rested in each other's embrace, watching the fire. There was a
gentle ebb and flow at their joining, just enough to give them a quiet
pleasure that permeated to the core. The feeling of closeness and
acceptance began to help William feel a balance inside himself. Both soul
and demon found solace and completion in the sanctuary of Buffy's love.

Absentmindedly she stroked the back of his neck, her toes toying with his
ankles. He watched the fire, tears still falling from his eyes, then hid
his face against her neck. He rolled them over so that his weight wouldn't
burden her, bringing them closer to the fire. With his arms wrapped around
her back he began to move his lips over her throat. Shuddering breaths
interrupted his attempts to make love to her, his emotions still raw and
tormenting him as he searched for peace. Buffy drew back, sitting astride
him. She guided her hands to her hips and began to move atop him. She
didn't rise, keeping him fully inside her, but made circular motions with
her hips while tensing her inner muscles around him.

"Do you still want to go to Paris tomorrow?" she asked in a quiet voice,
her palms flattening across his breast as she leaned over him. Her long
tresses of golden hair cascaded down over her arms and his.

"I promised...yes."

"We could stay here. We can spend the time alone, like this. We'll make
love, help you feel like you again."

"I want to go. I want to show you Paris. I'll take you places you never
dreamed of, show you the beauty hidden in the city. The places only demons
know. Then I'll show you the places I visited when I was human. I'll dance
you around in the hall of mirrors at Versailles after dark. Make love to
you all over Pere LaChaise, on the tombs of great poets." Buffy laughed at
the idea, but both knew it thrilled her, given the increased gyrations of
her hips. "Buffy? Do you really love me?" She wasn't sure just who was
asking, the demon or the soul, but either way her answer would be the same.

"I love you, only you, forever you."

"When we get to Paris can we find an old church, one out of the way where
there's no crowds? And will you marry me again?" Buffy knew which side of
him was asking this time. The demon wanted more proof of her acceptance and
love for him.

"Yes! Yes, I'll marry you." He smiled, bright and brimming with joy. His
hands closed around her small waist and he began to move her up and down
the length of his shaft, her breasts and her blond hair bouncing.

"And...and I promise not to change too much! You'll barely know the demon's
there, I'll still be the William you love..." Buffy pitched herself forward
and grasped the back of his neck, pulling him up with her. She locked her
arms around him tightly, pressings their chests together. She looked him
straight in the eyes, hers were storming. With a little expert maneuvering,
she got her legs around his waist.

"Stop it," she whispered, grinding herself against him and tensing around
his cock, bringing them both to the precarious edge before orgasm.

"What?"

"Anyone ever tell you talk to much?"

"Yes, you tell me all the time."

"Now's not the time for talking. But I'll say this one last time. I love
you, soul and demon, equally and forever."

"M'sorry...I'm all jumbled inside, don't know one bloody end from the
other." Already she could see bits of Spike emerging. William rarely
uttered a "bloody".

"You don't need to figure it out right now....just feel us, let me anchor
you. You can feel me, can't you? Feel me....William..." Their coupling
quickly reached a fever pitch. Their mouths fused together, tongues and
lips devouring the others. William abandoned himself to making love with
his wife. His wife. She belonged to him and gave herself and her to him
without reservation. He reached for her hand and threaded their fingers
together, emulating their last moments in the Hellmouth before his death.
Their hands rose, illuminated by the flames in the hearth. They remembered
and relieved one of the most monumental moments in their lives together.
Buffy looked at him with tears shimmering in her eyes. "I love you." Her
orgasm came first, as if saying the words to him again were some sort of
amplifier to their pleasure. She supposed it was, as he followed her
quickly after. They cleaved to each other, hands still clasped and he
leaned close to her ear to whisper.

"I know."



The End

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