How Buffy Got Her Pig Back

AUTHOR: tobywolf13

SUMMARY: Story entry for Taramisu for the Gordo fic-a-thon. She wanted William and Mr. Gordo together.

  
Mr. Gordo was alone for the first time in weeks. He loved Girl, but she hadn’t been around much. Instead all these other, strange, and much too loud girls were sharing her room. Girl called them Potentials, but Shrieky Voice called them annoying. Mr. Gordo had to agree, especially about the really mean one, Kennedy. Sometimes, she snuck in here with Red Fur to “be alone” and she’d throw him off the bed. He’d been under there for a week before the Rainbow One had found him. He liked her okay; she sometimes slept with him at night and made sure he was put back on the bed before they left for training in the morning.

He still hadn’t seen Girl though in a very long time. The last few nights, everyone had been very worried and the Mean One had been resting in his bed all by herself. He remembered her. She’d come into the house once and tried to kill Mom, but his Girl had saved the day (she always did). Mr. Gordo wasn’t sure why she was here now, but he still felt sorry that she was sick, even if she had tried to hurt Girl and had even tried stealing him once during Christmas. But now, the house was too quiet. None of the Potentials were around and neither were Girl or Shrieky Voice.

They’d taken a lot of things out of the house, too. All the Potentials had packed up their sleeping bags and Shrieky Voice had packed up a lot of Girl’s pictures. Most of the big, smelly books were missing from the room too (Mr. Gordo didn’t mind that they were gone that much). Even her weapons chest where she kept all the sharp wooden sticks was gone. Mr. Gordo felt very alone.

Then the bed started to shake. Mr. Gordo was a brave pig and had lived a long time in California, so he’d been through an earthquake before. When Girl was really little and the ground shook, she’d grab him and they’d both hide with Mom in the bathroom, all huddled together. This was a very big earthquake though. The whole house shook and the walls began to crack and Mr. Gordo became very nervous.

When the floor started to cave in and the bed started to fall to the ground, Mr. Gordo became very scared.

And when everything fell down and all he could see was wood all around him, Mr. Gordo became very worried. He still wasn’t sure if Girl was in the house, and he was even less sure that he’d see her again.

Mr. Gordo spent a long time in the middle of the wood. It was very dark where he was and all he couldn’t see anything. But little by little, Mr. Gordo realized that he wasn’t in the house any more or even under it. The wood around him smelled different, like the chest the Puffy One had made for Girl. It wasn’t crushing him as much anymore, either. In fact, it was just like being in a box.

After a long time, Mr. Gordo could finally see, but what he saw wasn’t Girl and that made him sad. He had been right about being in a box, though he still wasn’t sure how he got in it. He remembered there being a lot of bright lights during the earthquake, but didn’t know how lights could put him in a box. But here he was.
Here was strange too. He was being picked up by a Big One. She was very old, much older than mom or even Girl’s Watch Her. The Big One reminded him a lot of the Watch Her and of White Fur, she talked very funny. She held him uncomfortably too, by his hooves instead of giving him a hug like Girl would have. He tried to tell her to put him down, but like all Big Ones, she just wasn’t listening.

She poked him repeatedly in the belly and Mr. Gordo laughed because it tickled. The Big One brought him close to her face and then held him far away. She did that a few times and he began to get dizzy.

Finally she spoke and he realized that there was another person with them. “Don’t know why you keep draggin’ this shite to me ‘arry. I can’t hardly make a profit from it, just a bit a cheap jewelry is all and a little, stuffed pig.”

She threw him back into the box and Mr. Gordo landed in small pile of the Shiny Strings. Girl wore those sometimes, but they were always in the shape of a t. She liked the alphabet. It was something they had in common. White Fur didn’t like Girl’s t’s. Mr. Gordo thought it might be because he couldn’t read.

‘arry was very large and had a big orange beard and looked like Girl did when she came home from patrol and all the monster dust was still on her. His breath smelled very bad, and Mr. Gordo was glad he didn’t breathe.

“Melinda, I keeps brining you the best of my hauls, don’t I? The jewelries all real gold, checked it m’self and you can always sell a stuffed animal to some prissy brat for a neat little profit.”

The two Big Ones argued for a while, but finally the woman agreed to take the whole box. Mr. Gordo soon found himself in a big glass box between a velvet-furred rabbit and a turtle. He remembered being in a box like this many years ago when Dad picked him out and took him home to Girl. Maybe Girl would find him here.

Weeks went by and Girl still did not come. Mr. Gordo figured out that he must be in a store. He knew about those. Stores were where Big Ones went to buy things. Girl and Shrieky Voice were very good at buying things. It was a very weird store, though. There were no TVS or phones or even candy. All the clothes were very different too. The skirts were very long and the dresses were covered in lace. They looked very uncomfortable and a lot like what Girl’s granma used to wear. Girl would never shop here. She liked all her clothes to be very tight. Actually, so had White Fur, Pointy Fur, and the Big Big One that used to spend the night with Girl.

Just because Girl didn’t shop there, didn’t mean that other Big Ones wouldn’t. One day two Big Ones came into the store and headed straight for Mr. Gordo and the other SA’s.

One of the Big Ones was a man who looked to be a little bit older than Girl. He seemed a little familiar to Mr. Gordo, but the pig couldn’t figure out where he had seen the man before. He didn’t think he’d ever met someone with such curly fur or with such a nice suit. The Puffy One always wore the shirts that looked like picnic blankets and White Fur and Pointy Fur always wore black. The other Big One wasn’t quite a grown-p yet. In fact, she looked younger than most of the Potentials. She reminded Mr. Gordo a little of Shrieky Voice. She had long brown fur too and her eyes were the same color as the sky. She was much quieter than Shrieky Voice, though.

Mr. Gordo liked the new girl, but not as much as his Girl.

The New Girl kept turning her head as she looked through the glass box. She stared intently at Bunny and Turtle and finally at Mr. Gordo. She looked at him the longest and then spoke. “Miss, if it isn’t too much trouble, I’d like to see the pig, please.”

The woman grumbled a bit and roughly pulled Mr. Gordo from the case and then threw him at the New Girl. “ ‘ere. This isn’t one of your fancy libraries, either buy him or get out.”

Curly Fur, who had been standing behind New Girl all this time, surged in front of her. “Look here, Ma’am…that…that was uncalled for. I assure you we intend to buy something today, but we’d prefer it if you’d…if you’d let Emily look around a bit first.”

Mr. Gordo nodded his piggy snout in agreement, though no one noticed. Curly Fur seemed very nice and seemed to really love Emly. Mr. Gordo felt the same about Girl. No one messed with her, or at least he didn’t like it when they did. Curly Fur also reminded Mr. Gordo of the Quiet One who had been Red Fur’s old girlfriend. He was very shy too and stuttered just a little.

Emly held Mr. Gordo the right way, cradling him almost like a baby. She gave him a few gentle squeezes and smiled up at Curly Fur. “I like him very much, William, but I’m still not sure if I want a stuffed animal this year. Will you hold him while I look around the rest of the shop?”

Curly Fur nodded and gave Emly a kiss on the forehead. “Whatever you wish, Bit, but we best be getting home soon…”

Emly rolled her eyes. “I know, I know, ‘or mother will be worried.’” She giggled. “Honestly, William, it’s not that late yet. I don’t know why you worry so.”

“It’s just that it’s cold and…” Curly Fur stopped. Emly had already started off to the part of the store where all the Shiny Strings stayed. Mr. Gordo watched her and was confused. She walked very slowly and she coughed often. Once Mr. Gordo even thought he saw the Awful Red Stuff that Girl sometimes had on her clothes after patrol come out of her mouth.

“She’s got consumption, don’t she, boy.”
“Yes, ma’am, but she’s taking her medicine and seeing the best doctors.”

“Boy.”

“Yes…yes ma’am?” Curly Fur asked; he seemed very nervous.

“She’s not ‘ere to ‘ear what you’re saying. ‘Ow bad is it really?”

Curly Fur gave Mr. Gordo a very tight squeeze and sighed. “Six months at best. It’s her birthday today and she hasn’t been well enough to leave the house in weeks. I thought it would be nice if she could pick out her own gift.”

The woman smiled and that surprised Mr. Gordo. He’d been here for a while and he’d never seen her smile. He’d seen her yell a lot though. “I tell you what. I’ll give you the pig for free, if it means that much to her.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really, but don’t you going telling no one about this. Word gets out that Ole Melinda cuts deals and I’ll be ruined.”

Curly Fur unwrapped one arm from around Mr. Gordo and shook the woman’s hand. “Thank you, I’ll just get Emily and we’ll be right out.” He set Mr. Gordo gently down on the glass box and went off to the Shiny String section to find his sister.

All alone, Mr. Gordo could hear the woman talking to herself. “ ‘A course I’ll give that bloody away. Been here six months, ‘e ‘as, and not one person has ever offered to pay what I ask for him. Now with consumption all over ‘im, I’d just have to burn the thing anyway.”

Mr. Gordo decided right then that he really didn’t like the woman at all, but he thought that Emly and Curly Fur seemed very nice. They weren’t Girl, but he didn’t want to be burned either. Whatever that meant.

Mr. Gordo liked his new home a lot. The room he shared with Emly was very big and her bed was much softer than Girl’s. Curly Fur hadn’t been wrong about Emly, though. She really was very sick. Most days she was too weak to leave her bed and sometimes she’d spend a whole day and night just sleeping with Mr. Gordo hugged tightly in her arms.

Other days were better and she’d take him outside for tea parties in her family’s large garden. Sometimes, she’d even take him to the parlor and place him on the piano while she played for him. The songs were all very pretty and he liked the way the piano hummed under his little, stuffed hooves.

Every night at exactly ten o’clock Curly Fur came to read to Emly. Mr. Gordo remembered when Mom used to do that with Girl. He also remembered when White Fur used to read to Shrieky Voice the summer that Girl was gone. He hadn’t liked that summer at all. Girl hadn’t come home for a long time and then Shrieky Voice moved into her room and started sleeping with him. Usually, Mr. Gordo didn’t like Shrieky Voice, especially since she’d tried to give him a bath, but she’d been very sad and kept telling him how she missed Girl too.

Good SA’s always comforted Big Ones, and Mr. Gordo was one of the best SA’s around. So he’d let Shrieky Voice sleep with him until Girl came home.

He liked listening to the stories Curly Fur read. Mom had stopped reading to Girl when she was still very little and Mr. Gordo had only heard little kid stories, like the Little Red Riding Hood (Girl’s favorite). Emly was older and liked real long books. Curly Fur read them Treasure Island and that had scared Mr. Gordo a little because there were pirates in it. Pirates looked like the Puffy One because they only had one eye, but they were very mean. They were half way through Alice in Wonderland but still hadn’t finished.

Two days ago, the Big Ones in the White Coat had come and taken Emly away to the hospital. Mr. Gordo hated hospitals. He and Girl had visited Celia there once. It smelled like the special water Mom used to clean the house and there were far too many kids there without an SA to love them. Mr. Gordo didn’t know why she hadn’t taken him with her. No one should ever go to that place without a fuzzy friend like him.

When the door opened that night, Mr. Gordo hoped that it would Emly but it was only Curly Fur instead. He looked very bad. Usually, Curly Fur’s clothes were always very clean, but this time they were wrinkled. His eyes were red and they were leaking. Girl’s eyes had leaked sometimes too, especially after Dad left and after Mom had gone away. Mr. Gordo’s little piggy chest felt heavy. Surely, Emly hadn’t left too.

Curly Fur laid down on the bed, picked up Mr. Gordo, and stroked his head. “She loved you so much, you know. Mother thought it was unseemly for a fourteen year old to be so attached to a stuffed animal, but you were her best friend. Thank you.”

Mr. Gordo answered, “You’re welcome, but where is Emly?”

Of course, like always (even with Girl), Curly Fur ignored him. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Mr. Pig (Emly was not as good a namer as Girl was), Dr. Cane says that Mother’s come down with the same symptoms Emily had. I had hoped our little family wouldn’t be going through this again.” Curly Fur gave Mr. Gordo a tight squeeze and he felt some of the water leak all over his fur.

The Big One stood up and looked Mr. Gordo in the eyes. “I wanted to leave something of hers in the casket so she wouldn’t get lonely. I know it’s silly. Of course, it’s frightfully silly to be talking to a stuffed pig in the first place…” Mr. Gordo tried very hard not to be offended. For Big Ones, Emly and Curly Fur were very nice, even if they didn’t listen to him. “…I had thought about leaving you with her so it would seem more like she was just sleeping, but I think she’d rather have you here.”

Curly Fur put Mr. Gordo back on the mattress and winked at him before leaving. “Maybe I’ll even let you have a little tea from time to time, too.”

Mr. Gordo didn’t stay in Emly’s room for long. Curly Fur brought the pig to his room and kept him on the top of his dresser, that made Mr. Gordo feel lonely. He liked to be cuddled, like he had been with Girl and Emly. He also didn’t like that neither Emly nor Girl had ever come back for him.

Curly Fur was still very nice though. Sometimes when Mother was out, he’d drink tea in his room and leave a cookie for Mr. Gordo. Emly had always left at least one cookie for him too. It was very thoughtful. Curly Fur also talked to him, not often like with Emly, but once in a while when he seemed sad or scared. Curly Fur talked often about how his Mother was sick and about a girl he liked named Cecily.

Instead of stories, Curly Fur read Po Hums to Mr. Gordo. Almost all of them were about Cecily and none of them were any good. Mr. Gordo had heard better rhymed whenever Mom read Girl Dr. Seuss. Sometimes they were so bad that Mr. Gordo laughed and then he was glad that Big Ones couldn’t hear him. Sometimes, though very rarely, Curly Fur would read a Po Hum he’d written about Emly. These were much better, at least according to Mr. Gordo, but they were much sadder too. The pig realized that he wasn’t the only one that missed Emly.

One evening, Curly Fur put on his nicest suit and then walked around in little circles all over the room. He made Mr. Gordo very dizzy. The Big One finally turned to him. “I’m going to do it tonight, Mr. Pig. Cecily is going to be at this party and I am going to read her one of my poems.” Mr. Gordo didn’t think this was a very good idea, but he didn’t want to hurt Curly Fur’s feelings. “I just have to finish it up, you see. I have this problem with rhyming. I just can’t find a word that goes with effulgent.”

Now Mr. Gordo knew the Po Hum was a very bad idea.

Curly Fur didn’t come home for a couple of nights after that, but he did come back. Finally, one night, he did return. He almost ripped the door off its hinges when he hurried into the room, which seemed very strange to Mr. Gordo. Curly Fur had never been very strong. His Girl was much stronger, even the Puffy One was much stronger. But that seemed to have changed.

His eyes were leaking again and Mr. Gordo figured the Po Hum reading had not helped Cecily fall in love with him. Looking closer, the pig realized that something else had happened. Curly Fur’s clothes were torn and there was Awful Red Stuff coated around his neck. He even had monster dust on him. He was mumbling to himself. “Didn’t want to do it, but she made me. Oh god, oh god. Have to leave, can’t stay here.”

He pulled out a trunk from under his bed and threw different things in it: his journals where he wrote the Po Hums, some Shiny Strings that had belonged both to Emly and Mother, some pictures and a few books. Curly Fur then grabbed up Mr. Gordo. “Wish you’d warned me. Bloody poem, stupid Cecily, it’s all turned into a big mess now, Mr. Pig.” Mr. Gordo felt a little guilty; maybe he should have told Curly Fur how bad his Po Hums were.

Curly Fur was about to throw Mr. Gordo into the trunk on top of some of Emly’s Shiny Strings but stopped. He gave the pig a soft pat on the head. “Better not, actually, even if you were hers. Drusilla…she likes dolls better and I’d rather not have Emily’s toy ruined after I’ve spent all this time keeping it in mint condition.”

So he left Mr. Gordo on his bed and never came back.

Mr. Gordo sat there for a long time, but he was used to it by now. Girl had gone and so had Emly. He guessed it was time for yet another owner. When a couple at least as old as Girl’s Watch Her and Mom came into the room, carrying a heavy trunk, the pig wasn’t all that surprised.

The man had grey fur and thick glasses. He spoke in the same funny way that Emly and Curly Fur had. “I cannot believe it, Virginia. William disappears and no one notices for two months. We come by the flat and there are signs of a struggle and the good jewelry is missing.”

The woman had dark brown fur and bright green eyes. She nodded and answered Grey Fur. “But no signs of poor Anne and William. I know I’ve said it before but really, Rupert, London really is becoming far too dangerous a city.” She walked to Curly Fur’s closet and started packing up some of his things. Then she picked Mr. Gordo up off the bed. “What about this? Should we store it as well? It’s not worth anything.”

Grey Fur frowned and then shook his head. “It would be best to pack it up as well, my dear. Emily was so attached to it. Perhaps one of our little darlings would like it as well.”

Once again, Mr. Gordo was placed in a wood box, but this time he wouldn’t get out for a very, very long time.

Buffy Summers sneezed for the fifteenth time since she’d entered Giles’s old attic. She, Dawn, and her Watcher had moved into his bath estate two weeks ago, but they were still unpacking. Why were they still unpacking? It’s not like smoking craters left a lot of a luggage behind in their place. All Buffy had was a few sets of clothes, some pictures Dawn had smuggled out, and her weapons. She hadn’t even remembered to pack Mr. Gordo.

No, the real problem was that the Giles’s were pack-rats and there were tons of old Watcher’s Council mementos crammed into the dust-covered and (as Buffy suspected) rat infested attic. Giles had insisted that she bring down any chest or trunk that might be the hiding spot for an old demonology book. The New Council was not too big with knowledge or the books these days.

Buffy grumbled as she picked up yet another heavy trunk and lugged it back down to Giles’s study. Just because she was the…a slayer didn’t mean she should be the pack mule too. She’d seen Giles lift a broad sword before; he should totally be helping her with this.

She dropped the chest onto his desk and winced at the loud banging nose it made. Her watcher rushed into his office, a frown on his face. “Buffy, I know destroying things is…was your calling, but could you try not to destroy my desk. It’s a family heirloom.”

Buffy huffed. “You say that about everything here, even the bath towels.”

“Well they are very nice towels.” The slayer sighed and smashed open the lock. “I had a key for that!”

“This way’s quicker and I’m a bit tired from carrying ten other trunks all by myself.” Hurriedly, she flung open the lid and looked inside. “This sucks. This is the third case I’ve brought down with nothing but old, and I mean old, clothes. Oh, and this,” she added, pulling out a small, pink fluff ball from the bottom of the chest. “I’m sure a stuffed pig will be vital to word savage in the future.”

“You would know.” Giles commented dryly. “Well, if that’s all there is here, then you may start bringing down the next trunk.” Buffy didn’t respond. She was staring at the pig’s ear and looked liked she’d just seen a ghost.

“It’s Mr. Gordo!”

“Now, Buffy, I know you’ve been stressed lately, we all have, but that trunk has been sealed in my attic for over a hundred years. There is no possible way that…”

“Look!” She commanded, shoving one pink ear in his face.

“Yes, I can see how an ear would be iron-clad proof and good lord.” There, written in bright green crayon, was Buffy’s name. “You misspelled Buffy. The f’s are going in the wrong direction.”

“I was five and so not the point. Look, there’s the cut in his tail form when we played hair dresser and the grey spots on his legs from where Dawn tried to give him a bath and the dye ran.”

“I must say the monks do thorough work. They even altered Mr. Gordo to prove her existence.”

“Actually, she tried to bathe him in the sink of the Winnebago after spilling some of Anya’s spam on him.”

“Oh, well it’s still extraordinary.”

Buffy started pacing the room, full-out slayer mode. She still tended to do that when she was confused or upset about something. “Never mind that. I want answers, Giles. How did my pig get in your house? What can you tell me about the chest?”

Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eye. “Not much, I’m afraid. Some distant cousins lived in a town house in London, but it was raided by robbers and heaven knows what else. It fell to the next of kin to pack up what was left of the household.”

“So they kept a stuffed pig?”

“It had been my great-great-cousin Emily’s. She’d been sick with tuberculosis and he’d meant a great deal to her. My great grandparents tried to give it as a gift to their own children but a used stuffed animal seemed not to curry much favor.”

“Spoiled much?”

“Are you wearing the Prada boots you used Council money to buy in the Riviera.”

“Slaying expense, ebony heels.” Buffy held up Mr. Gordo once more and was intrigued by the small collar around his neck and the little golden disk hanging from it. She blinked twice, reread it, and became very pale. “Giles, which cousins did you say he belonged to?”

“Emily, I believe.”

“No, I mean the names of everyone in the family. Dogs even.”

“The father was Charles, but he died only a year or two after Emily was born. The mother was Anne; she came down with tuberculosis also, but disappeared before she died from it. There was a son too, I believe. Emily’s older brother. His name was—“

“William.” Buffy stammered out.

“Yes. How did you know that?” Buffy tossed him Mr. Gordo and pointed to the gold adorning his neck. “Read it.”

“ ‘To my dear Bit on her birthday. Love, William.’ ”

Buffy held Mr. Gordo tightly in her arms. It figured that he’d come back to her. She just couldn’t do without him, after all. It wasn’t that weird to find him a hundred years older and an ocean away. They were, after all, from the Hellmouth. If she could return from the dead (twice), surely her beloved furry companion could escape the Sunnydale crater.

Nope, definitely not that bizarre. It would be much weirder explaining to Giles exactly who he was related, albeit distantly, too. But that could wait until morning. Right now, she was drifting off into the best sleep she’d had in months. As the slayer lost consciousness, she could have sworn she heard a happy little voice squeak, “Girl, I finally found you!”

Mr. Gordo Home