Untitled

AUTHOR: Perletwo
SUMMARY: A Mr. Gordo fic for the Where's Gordo Challenge

 
"...this was while you were away, after the wedding-that-wasn't?  There was this warlock guy, like Rack only not him, this guy was more, um, goal-oriented? And he was gonna put the magic whammy on the Slayer, see. And, like, he needed something of hers that held her 'psychic energy' or whatnot? So he sent a demon minion that stole Mr. Gordo, turns out he's got lots of psychic energy from all the lovin' on him she did when she was little.

So, long story short, Willow found out about it and we stopped him in time. But we figured Mr. Gordo was always gonna be in danger now that the demon community knew about him, so Buffy had us move him to like an undisclosed location, you know, like Dick Cheney only way cuter?
So like Mr. Gordo's being kept under lock and key and Buffy just visits him every now and then when she needs some'a that piggy lovin'. That's why she's got the stupid-ass bear on the bed, it's a
decoy. I mean c'mon - the poor little guy has no character!"

Xander grunted. "Uh-huh. So I repeat: Where's Mr. Gordo?"

Dawn shook her head, and Xander sighed. "C'mon, Dawnie. Old-Buddy-Old-Pal Xander here. You know I'd never do anything to put Buffy in danger. Well, not *knowingly,* anyways..."

Dawn opened her mouth, closed it, looked from side to side guiltily, then stood on tiptoe to whisper in Xander's ear. "ohhhh!" he whispered back, smiling.

 
****

 
Halfway to Seattle, a wrinkly demon at the wheel of a tomato-red VW Beetle sang along to Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone" on the car radio.

He happened upon an empty stretch of road as the song hit the long instrumental break. Clem took advantage of the moment to open the big steel lockbox on the passenger seat and check its contents.

"Don't worry, guys, we'll be there soon," he said, and gave a pat to the heads of the action figure and the stuffed animal inside.

"IT'S 2 A.M., THE GUN'S STILL WARM...DOUBLECROSS MESSENGER, I CAN'T GET THROUGH WHERE ARE YO-OOUUUU?" he sang. Boba Fett and Mr. Gordo just smiled up at him as he closed the lid again and gave the Beetle a little more gas.