Pigs In a Blanket

Summary: Mr. Gordo plays matchmaker.
Spoilers: Older and Far Away.
Rating: G
Disclaimers: Joss is God! Mutant Enemy *rocks*! Grr, arrgh! (please don't sue me, 'k?)

There's an awful lot of noise in the Big World With Walls tonight.
There hasn't been this many people wandering around outside my world
since the time right after my girl came home the first time, when
there was a lot of big loud sounds and scary people.

I hope my girl is all right this time. She got awfully upset, last
time.

****
The Yellow One opens the door to my world and looks around. I can see
people milling around the hallway behind him. There's my girl's
friend Rusty and her friend, the Quiet One. They stay here all the
time now. Although it's been awhile since I've seen the Quiet One
around, come to think of it.

I wonder who else is here?

Yellow spies a fuzzy blanket and snatches it off the foot of my
girl's bed, and starts for the door. I hope he's not going to make it
all smoky like the blanket he brings over here sometimes. He looks
around my world once when he goes back to the door, smiles and
says "Aha."

Oh. He's looking at me! Hi there, Yellow!

He comes back, picks me up and kisses me on the snout. Then he tucks
me into the crook of his arm, and we go out into the Big World With
Walls.

****
Goodness there's a lot of people down here! There's the shaggy-furred
dark boy and his gold-furred friend, talking with a new boy. I can't
exactly tell what color his fur is. It's not dark, and not light, and
not long, and not short. It's just kinda dull. He reminds me of the
second dark boy that way.

The new brown-furred girl is sitting and playing some kind of a game
with a Big Long Scary-looking Machine. She's playing the game with a
new man with very very loose skin and floppy ears, almost like my
bunny friend upstairs in my world. He looks kind of sad, but
friendly. But then, maybe he just looks like he's frowning because
his mouth sags from all the wrinkles.

Brown Fur looks happy, talking to Mr. Wrinkles, so I guess he must be
nice.

There's a new girl too. She's curled up on the couch, and she keeps
yawning and snuggling down into the pillows. She's pretty. I think.
She has curly black fur.

This isn't anything like the last time there were a whole lot of
people in the Big World With Walls. There were a lot more people
then. And everybody here tonight looks too tired to make a big loud
noise.

Yellow takes me over to the couch, sets me down and spreads the fuzzy
blanket over the new dark girl. He smiles and pats her on the
shoulder, and she stirs long enough to open her eyes and
smiles. "Hey. Thanks," she murmurs sleepily.

"Not a bit of it," Yellow says quietly. Then he picks me up and holds
me in front of her. "Sophy, this is Mr. Gordo. He's a very old dear
friend of Buffy's." Why is he telling the sofa who I am? I've sat on
the sofa lots of times.

"Mr. Gordo, this is Sophy. She's a new dear friend of Buffy's." The
dark girl takes my hoof with two fingers and shakes firmly.

"Pleased t'meetcha, Mr. Gordo," she says. Oh. Her *name* is Sofa! I
get it now. Hi Sofa.

Yellow tucks me into the arms Sofa's got folded up under her
chin. "Gordo, you look after Sophy while she takes a li'l nap, okay?
An' Sophy, you hang onto the pig so he'll have a chance to wish Buffy
a happy birthday."

She giggles and cuddles me while Yellow stalks off to lounge in a
corner and watch everyone else. Cuddling is nice. I think I'm going
to like this game.

****
For a happy berth day, nobody seems very happy except Brown Fur.

It's very strange. People usually go home to their own worlds after
this much time. Everybody feels kind of....heavy. I don't understand
it.

Then again, I'm getting lots of hugs and cuddles, and Sofa's warm and
soft, even if she doesn't smell as nice as my girl. Come to think of
it, she's got the same funny smell my girl's had on her lately. I
wonder why?

****
"Excuse me." Mr. Wrinkles nudges Sofa gently. "I'm sorry to wake you,
but you're lying on my vest, and I'd like to put it back on now if I
might."

"Oh. Sorry." Sofa props up on one arm and pulls a piece of rough
brown fabric out from under her. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Mr. Wrinkles shakes it out and puts it on. It's very funny.
It's got almost as many wrinkles as he does.

"I'm Clem, by the by. I came with Spike there." He nods in the
direction of Yellow's corner. He's a clam? I'm pretty sure clams
don't look like you, Mr. Wrinkles.

"Hi. I'm Sophy." I can feel Sofa's cheek stretch as she smiles. It's
nice. "I work with Buffy, at, at, umm..."

Mr. Wrinkles smiles softly. "I know. You look very nice without that
hat covering up your hair."

Sofa moans and hides her face behind me. "Ohh no...you've *seen* me
there?!"

"Just once. I went in with Spike. He wanted to check up on Buffy."
His head leans over sidewise. "Who's this fine fella?"

"Mr. Gordo. Spike says he's an old dear friend of Buffy's." Sofa sits
me up on the edge of the cushion, and Mr. Wrinkles pats me on my
head. That tickles! "I'm so embarrassed. I hate that uniform."

"I'm pretty sure I don't have much room to criticize other people's
appearances," he says. He's got a sweet smile. Sofa seems to think so
too, because I can feel her smiling back and she's all warm.

"What's, ahh - "

"Skin condition. Incurable." Mr. Wrinkles shrugs. "I've learned to
live with it."

"And you've got some good friends who don't seem to notice much," she
says. "What's up with that guy Spike, anyway? Is he with Buffy? She
says not and she didn't seem to want to talk to him much, but I
thought I saw...ummm...."

"Sparkage? Oh yeah." He nods, jowls and ears swinging. "They've known
each other for years. Hated each other, the first few. Respected each
other for most of it. Spike fell hard for her, oh, about two years
ago. Took him several months to realize it, and a bunch more before
he got the nerve to tell her."

"Ohh...So he's a stalker then?" A quick smile this time. Yellow does
*not* have a stalk, Sofa. That's just silly, now.

"Well, she's seemed a lot friendlier to him lately. I think maybe
they tried being a couple for a little while, and it didn't work out
so good," Mr. Wrinkles says. "He won't tell me, and believe me he's a
talker, so if he won't talk about it it *must* be big."

Sofa nods. "That'd explain Buffy's mood swings, I guess. She covers
good, but one morning she's down, she goes off on break, she comes
back and she's like floating."

What are they saying? Are my girl and the yellow one friends now?
That'd be nice. My girl needs lots of hugs and cuddles. And they're
both so good at hugs and cuddles. I hope they're being friendly.

"Yeah, here too. I hope they're getting to the good stuff. My boy
Spike's been on his own for way too long. He's gone all bachelor-
like. It's not a pretty sight." Sofa giggles.

****
Sofa and Mr. Wrinkles talk quietly for a little while longer. I think
they like each other. I hope so. Sofa cuddles good. Mr. Wrinkles
looks like he could use a cuddle or two.

"Maybe...you could come back by the DMP sometime? Like, like when I'm
working, and, like, say hi?"

Yessss! Say yes, Mr. Wrinkles! Please? Sofa wants you to say yes! I
can tell!

"Or, or I could do better," he says. "I could take you out to a
restaurant where you get to sit down, and nobody wears Muppet hats.
That is, if, if you'd like."

Yessss! Is this what my girl calls sparkage?

Now Sofa's very warm, and she's smiling all over. "I'd definitely
like, Clem."

Aww. This is nice.

Maybe it is a Happy Berth Day after all.