They Also Serve
AUTHOR: Perletwo
RATING:
call it PG for a crisis situation.
SPOILERS: BTVS season 7
A/N: written for Meltha, mistress of the Mister Gordo Ficathon. She requested:
Mr. Gordo talking to another stuffed animal/action figure/doll (it doesn't have
to be one we've seen before on the show), some Spike interaction, Mr. G somehow
averting an apocalypse or some other dangerous situation; and does not want: no
character bashing, no extreme angst, no Kennedy. Done, done and done. I think.
:-)
My world is small and dark and these days it's
very very very crowded!
My Girl put me in the big box. Not the big box with the sharp pointy things, but
the old big box we brought with us from our other world. The box where all the
soft fuzzy things and fun toys sleep.
She didn't put me in here because I was bad - I'm a good pig, ask anybody! No,
she put me in here because there wasn't any more room on the bed. Or on the
floor. Or in the corner by the dresser. Or under the desk. We have Company
sleeping over you see.
I remember sleepovers used to be fun when Girl was little. Only back then all
the other little Girls went away after a while. Now the Girls just stay and
stay, and more and more of them just keep coming!
***************************************
When Girl first put me in the box it was plenty big and roomy. I had it almost
all to myself, except for a couple of SAs the Second Dark One gave to Girl. She
didn't want to play with them anymore after he stopped coming. They were happy
to share the big box with me.
But then when the Company came, the other Girls all brought their own SAs. And
one by one, they'd lift up the lid of the big box, look around to one side then
the other, and then *shovvvve* their SAs in and slam the lid down quick-quick!
And later, whenever one of them could get my world all to themselves for a
minute, they'd come and dig their SA up for some cuddle time. Really, you'd
think they were ashamed to be seen playing with toys!
It was still okay at first, when the Company first got here and there were only
two or three Other Girls. But now there's lots and lots and *lots* of Other
Girls. They're all over the Big World With Walls. And it's gotten very very very
crowded here in the Big Box, you see.
***************************************
We hear footsteps in my world. Only one set this time.
"Whose turn was it again?" That's Rue the Kanga, one of my new
friends. She came with one of the Furring Other Girls, from a place Rue says is
called Oz. I told her our Big One used to read us a story about Dorry-Thee in
the Land of Oz, but Rue says that's a different place and there are no witches
or munch-cans where they live.
"Maggie's turn, I think." That's Ping, another new friend. He's a big
black-and-white bird whose Girl is the One with Straight Line Eyes. Ping says
his Girl is very unhappy because she can't make anyone understand what she's
saying, especially not the Big One With Shiny Face Decorations. He wants to help
her, but the Big Ones almost never hear us SAs.
"No, Maggie is right over here." That's me! Mister Gordo! And I'm not
too sure I'm happy about that. Because Maggie is a cat, and even though she's
just a SA cat, I don't think I like the way she's staring at my ears anyway.
"Girl had me out last time," Maggie purrs sadly. Maggie's Girl is the
Dark Girl with Lots of Braids.
**************************************
The top of the box opens then and we see a flash of red fur and fuzzy wool, then
something is shovvvvved down in between Maggie and me and the top slams shut
again.
Oh! It's Puddles! "So it was Hat Girl's turn!" I say.
Puddles looks like he wants to cry. He always does - he's just made that way -
but more now than usual, somehow. Puddles is a fluffy yellow duck in a yellow
slicker (slicker than what is what I want to know) and a matching yellow hat.
"Our Big One gave Girl a hat for Easter when she was little and told her it
made her the prettiest little girl in the world," he sighs. "She
hasn't been the same since. I tried to tell her she was already the prettiest
Girl in the world, but, well, you know how they are."
We all nod to ourselves. We all know *that,* all right.
"What did she say?" asks Lady the Bug. "Yes! Did she say why our
Girls don't come anymore?" adds Reynard Le Fox. We all squirm a little.
We're awfully afraid we know why their girls, Glow-ee and Anny-Bell, don't come
anymore.
"She's very very scared," Puddles says. "She says the Furriest
Eeevil is coming for all our Girls, and they don't know how to stop it." We
all think about that and shiver a little. What could the Furriest Eeevil be?
I've never heard of an eeevil SA. Maybe it's a Real Animal? My girl has lots of
sharp pointy things that are good for stopping RAs.
"That must be why our Girls don't come get us anymore," Lady whispers.
Mister Hoppy and Blondie Bear squish over a little closer to cuddle them.
"It's okay, guys, you can stay with us. Our Boy gave us to Mister Gordo's
girl, only she didn't like to play with us, and after awhile she didn't like to
play with Boy either, so he went away. We miss him something awful, but we've
got each other!" Blondie tells them. Reynard snuggles him back gratefully,
and Lady nods.
"We have to help them!" Maggie says. Maggie is frisky and always up
for playing rough, just like her Girl.
"But how?" Rue asks softly, and we all look at each other. We're
stumped. And scared.
"I know how," I say. I'm about to tell them we can help by making our
Girls feel better when they're scared, so they can be brave and fight the
Furriest Eeevil, when the top of the box opens. We didn't hear anybody come in!
A big hand reaches in and closes around me. "Look everybody! It's the
Yellow One! Hi Yellow!"
"Hiya, Pig," Yellow says. "Gotta job for you. One that requires
your...special talents."
::gulp:: this can't be good...
************************************
Yellow runs through the Big World Outside with me cuddled up against his chest.
It's funny. Ever since Yellow came to our world for the Big Sleepover, I've
noticed he's different. He used to hold me upside down at his side like a Footie
Ball when he ran with me. Now he holds me like he'd hold a Tiny Little Boy or
Girl.
The Big World Outside is awfully quiet. Usually there's some vroom-vrooms and
wowowowowowooooos, but now it's just empty.
Then a big fire-y thing comes shooting at us! eep!
Yellow ducks to one side, covering me with his arms. The fire-y thing misses us,
but gosh that was scary!
Then Yellow turns me around and tilts me up. "That's your mission right
there, Piggie."
uh-oh.
I'm looking up at a giant red scale-ey, claw-ey, fang-ey Deemon with fire
snorting out of its nose every time it ROAAARRRs. And it ROAAARRRs a lot!
****************************************
He turns around, and I see some of Girl's other Skoobie friends are here. The
Dark One With No Fur is talking to a little box in his hand. "Yes ma'am, I
know there are buildings on fire all over town, but -" He puts the box
down. "Damn. Nine One One hung up on me."
"Sunnydale's falling apart, Robin," says Rusty Fur. She glances over
our way and smiles when she sees me. Hi Rusty! "No big surprise the cops
can't keep up. They're trying to put Band-Aids on, on, umm. Something really big
and bleed-y."
"Well said, Red." Rusty just shrugs at Yellow. Dark Boy picks up a big
crossbow and makes a big show of slinging it over his shoulder.
"So we gonna get to see this secret weapon you say is gonna take this bad
boy down, or should I load this thing up?"
Yellow smiles and holds me out to Dark Boy. "You're kidding."
"Watch." Yellow turns and yells something up at the the Deemon, but it
sounds funny, almost not like real words at all. The Deemon ROAAARRRs at him and
next thing I know I'm flying, flying up through the air...
****************************************
I hit the Deemon's chest with a soft fwumphing sound and start to fall. Deemon
is startled and looks down, and puts a big claw-ey hand up just in time to catch
me.
"ROAAAR-hmmpff?" It tilts its head and looks at me. Then it blinks.
Twice. "Wozzpahanammurrfff?"
That's funny. Deemon is making the same noises Yellow was, but it almost sounds
like....
"Hello there. I'm Mister Gordo. Are you okay, Mister Deemon?"
Deemon sniffs and snorts a puff of smoke. "MnotttaDeemonmurrfff," it
says. "MKluugghulugh. MaSulllafatrite."
He still sounds funny, but I can understand him. He's not a Deemon! He's just a
Boy! "Hi there Kluugghulugh. I'm not a sulllafatrite. I'm a Pig."
"WozzaPigmmrrphh?" He runs a claw-ey finger over my belly, but just
the soft part, not the claw-ey tip. Hee! Tickles!
"Well, I'm not *really* a pig. I'm a Stuffed Animal made to look like a
Pig. I play with my Girl and take care of her and make her laugh and give her
hugs and snuggles, and make her feel better when she's scared or sad. Are you
scared? Or sad? Can I help make it better?"
Kluugghulugh starts to sniff. Snuff-Snuff-SNUFF. Little bits of fire-y stuff
comes out of his nose whenever he's not sniffing. "MLOSSSTTTmrrrppff!
MWannnaMyWOOBIEEEEROAAARRR!"
Eep! He shot some more fire! I try to look down and see Yellow, Rusty and Dark
Boy are okay this time. Whew! Rusty is actually smiling and patting Yellow on
the shoulder.
"Oh that's awful! My Girl and I got lost one time when she was a Little
Girl. We couldn't find our Big Ones anywhere, and we were so scared!"
"SnuffleMSnuffleMWhahoppenUMmmfff?"
"Well, Girl hugged me and tried to be brave, and we found another Big One
who helped us find our Big Ones. Maybe my Girl's friends could help you find
your Big Ones?"
Yellow yells something funny-sounding up at us again then. I look down - gosh
it's a long way down! - and see Rusty Fur is setting up some flamey things and
dumping little bits of leaves into a bowl.
"See, Kluugghulugh? That's the Yellow One. He knows about lots of stuff. So
does my friend Rusty Fur. The Dark Boy there is a new friend, I don't know him
very well yet, but I'm sure he'd be happy to help you!"
"MWannnaMyWOOBIEiEiEiEiE! ROAAARRR!" Dark Boy jumps out the way of
another fire-y burst.
Then a big light shines up into the sky in a tall circle around Rusty's bowl and
flamey things. She looks up at Yellow and smiles a big big smile. "You're
on, Spike!"
Yellow takes a deep deep breath. "Mrurorrriougghsuggh ... umm ...
Kluugghulugh's Woobie?" he shouts into the light, then looks at Rusty, who
nods.
And then ... nothing happens. Kluugghulugh sniffles smokily. "MWannnaMyWOOBIEiEiEiEiE...."
He rubs me against his cheek, and I try to snuggle him a little as I go up and
down his scales.
"Red?" The Yellow One looks nervous. "You screw the spell up or
somethin'?"
"It's not like I can ask for operator assistance with this call, Spike. Try
it again."
So he yells the same thing into the light again. This time the top of the light
circle, waaay up in the sky above even Kluugghulugh, gets much much bigger and a
GIANT pair red scaly claw-ey hands comes out of it. Just then I see my Girl come
running up from the other direction, waving a big long shiny sharp thingie.
"Got mine taken care of, guys, how's - oh. Oh my!" she says, looking
up.
"MMMWOOBIEEEE!" Kluugghulugh yells happily, and leaps into the big red
arms. This must be one of his Big Ones! Hooray! Yellow did it!
"B-b-but - " Uh-oh. That's my girl! And I can hear that wobbly thing
her voice does when her eyes are about to leak water! "- But - That's MY
pig!"
And then I'm falling, fallingfallingfallingfallingFALLING fast! "G'bye
Kluugghulugh! I hope you feel better now that Woobie found you!"
I'm halfway down when a longlongLONG skinny slurpy tongue flies out and taps me
on the top of my head. Hee! That tickles!
And the next thing I know, I've landed. The light circle disappears, taking the
Deemons with it, and I'm safe in my girl's arms!
****************************************
The Shaggy Dark Boy comes huffing and puffing up then. He's got a big white hose
looped over his arm. "Your 911 call did go out over the police radio, we
heard it, they just haven't got anybody. So I stopped on the way to, uh, borrow
this from Simonson's Hardware. C'mon, Robin, help me with this hydrant."
The two of them spray water all over the fire-y things Kluugghulugh left all
around, and then we hear a wowowowoowooo.
"And here they come, Sunnydale's finest," Dark Boy says.
"Day late an' a dollar short as usual," Yellow agrees.
"C'mon guys, let's get back home to the girls," my Girl says, and
cuddles me close. "Eww. Eww eww eww. Gordo, you smell like rotten
eggs."
"'S the sulfur, luv. Sullafatrite demon's dominant element," Yellow
tells her.
"Well, it's a trip through the spin cycle for you, my piggie!" Girl
tickles my belly. Yaay! Spin cycle! That's my favorite ride!
"Good work there, Pig." Yellow tweaks one of my ears, and Girl smiles.
She's proud of me, I can tell.
****************************************
See, Girl? It's not so hard when you let your friends help!
You can beat the Furriest Eeevil, I know you can!
And you've got all of us SAs ready to help you take care of all these New Girls.
How can you lose?