The Glass Toad

 
AUTHOR: Taramisu
WRITTEN: 6/04
E-MAIL: taramisu1@yahoo.com
SUMMARY: Entry in the Spike/Inanimate ficathon.  The assignment: Spike and a 6" glass toad.
RATING: PG-13
AUTHOR NOTES: Thank you to my sterling beta, Jac.  Without her, I suck. 

Spike was miserable.  No.  This state was well beyond misery.  Misery was sitting in a wheel chair, body numb from the waist down, watching its Dark Queen screw another vampire.  This was more Despair with a capital `D' and a side order of hopelessness, sprinkled with intolerable anguish.  What the hell had he been thinking, hunting down a soul?  He remembered cooking up some ridiculous plans before, but this one took the cake.

The moon had risen six times since `the event.' and Spike remained curled up in a little ball just inside the entrance to the cave.  He tried to find some motivation for getting up and moving on with his unlife, but none came.  The thought of seeing Buffy again had once nourished his will to continue existing, but now it rotted and stunk in his gut.  Ironically, the soul that he just knew would make him
worthy of her love turned out to be thing that taught him he would never be worthy. 

A shadow fell upon the vampire and he looked up, expecting the worst.  After all, things had not gone well thus far.  Instead of claiming the woman known as Slayer for his mate, he was cowering in a
cave in Africa playing host to one murderous memory after another.  Spike couldn't say if the figures appearing before him were hallucinatory, or if they were indeed real ghosts.  He had been subjected to the rantings of these visions from his past continuously for the past six days.  The worst part: he was only up to the year 1946.  He bowed his head in shame at the face of a little Jewish girl in rags as she chastised him for his vile behavior.

When a new figure appeared at the entrance, its body silhouetted by the moonlight, Spike stared at it with some confusion.  Was thisperson live or Memorex? 

"Moo hanah lan too," the man said in a tribal language.

Spike tried to think rationally.  He had never been to Africa before, and had certainly not killed any tribals.  This had to be real.  The thought clamed the vampire a bit.  Any relief from the constant
torture of the ghosts was certainly welcome.  Spike studied the man carefully and noticed that the figure was holding something out to him.

"Moo hanah lan too, vampyri."  The voice became more insistent.

Now, that last word, Spike recognized.  "Yeah?  What of it, little bush man?"  He wasn't sure if he actually spoke those words, or just thought them. 

"Moo hanah lan too tah lenteeril."  The African pushed an item toward him.  It looked like some glass bauble.  When Spike failed to take it, the man shoved it into the vampire's hands and promptly left.

He lowered his head to look at the object that lay heavy in his hands: a small, glass toad.  The moonlight hit it just so and sparkled from within, about where a real toad's heart would lie.  Spike stared mesmerized at the light while turning the object to and fro.  However, the distraction lasted only a few precious moments, for the memories came rushing back and the item dropped to ground,
forgotten.

"Ow!"

Spike looked around quickly in an attempt to find the source of the voice.  He saw nothing.

"I said `Ow!'"

This time there was no doubt that the voice came from the toad.

"I never killed a toad. Leave me alone, you bastard."

The object giggled.

"What? Ain't it enough that I'm payin' for the things I've done?  I don't need to pay for the soddin' things I haven't done. Now just…hop…away."

The toad sat still, the light continuing to glow from within. "I'm not here to punish you, vampire. I'm here to grant you three wishes."

Spike wasn't sure what to make of his new `benefactor.' On the one hand, he was pretty loco at the moment. On the other, he was pretty loco at the moment.  Yet, something about the toad entranced him into believing that maybe, just maybe, it might be legitimate.

"So, you're tellin' me that you, a toy, is going to grant me, a murderous blood sucker, three wishes?"

The toad smiled. "Yes."

"So, I make a wish, you grant it, then you go all `monkey paw' on me, s'that right?"

The toad frowned. "No, vampire. You wish. I make your wish come true. Promise. Cross my heart." At that, the toad tore a little leg away from his chest with a crackle and made a cross motion over his
glowing heart.

"Well, I can't get any more bloody fucked up than this, now can I?" The ghost of the Chinese Slayer agreed, as well as that of his mother and a child that Spike couldn't remember for the `life' of him.

"Okay, little guy. Wish number one." Spike sat himself up a bit straighter and winced at the pain radiating through his body. "I wish…"

"No, no. You're doing it all wrong," the toad interrupted. "You need to rub my tummy, then kiss my head. After I start to glow green, then you may make your wish."

Spike raised one eyebrow and stared at the toad, disbelieving. "What's next? I stand on my head and whistle show tunes?"

"Please do not mock me, vampire. I am but a simple, wish-granting glass toad.  My only duty is to fulfill the needs of my master."

Spike continued to stare at the figurine, gauging its sincerity. Or perhaps he was gauging his own sanity. Spike wasn't really sure.  Deciding it didn't matter, he opted to take a chance: he reached down
and picked up the toad. Rolling his eyes at the sheer ridiculousness of the moment, he rubbed the belly, then leaned down to kiss its head.

The object's heart became brighter and brighter until the light blinded Spike.  He dropped the toad in favor of covering his eyes with both hands.

"Hey, there.  Careful now.  Wouldn't want to crack my heart.  That's where the magic comes from."

"What now?" Spike asked while peeking carefully through his hands.

"Wish, my master!  Wish for that which will fulfill your heart's desire."  The toad would have grinned from ear to ear…if he had ears, which he didn't.  "Asterisk."

The last part was added on so quietly that Spike didn't quite catch it.  "What?"

"I said, wish, my master!  Wish for that which…"

"Not that part, you prat.   That last part."  Spike tried to give the little guy the patented Spike sneer.  However, one finds it hard to make any sort of facial expression with eyes squinted and a set of
hands over them.

Froggy giggled nervously.  "Oh, that last thing.  Well, it was just a little disclaimer.  You know, `asterisk'."

Spike picked up the toad, forgetting that the action left his light-sensitive eyes exposed to the piercing light, and he quickly thrust it back down.  "I KNEW IT!  You're here to take my wish, then turn it
around into something evil.  I know your type.  With magic, there's always consequences.  Always!!"

"Well, there is one eensy, teensy, little catch to the three wishes.  They require a gift."

"A gift?"

"A gift."

"What kind of gift?  As you can bloody well see, I have nothing to give."  Spike would have accompanied this statement with the appropriate gesture, but, well, bright light, insufferable pain,
yada, yada.  You get the idea. 

A sly smile crossed the toad's face.  "You do.  Trust me.  You do."  When Spike did not respond, the toad continued.  "Anyhow, it is too late to refuse my gift, vampire.  You have already begun the wishing process.  If you fail to wish right now, and then two more times by the end of one year's time, then I shall stay with you in this glowing state forever."

The vampire, of course, agreed, but not without letting out a stream of curses and threats.

When Spike had calmed himself, the toad continued in a soothing voice, "Very well, then.  Wish number one, master?"

"Fine, fine!  I wish to be where I can do the most good."  Spike grinned a lopsided grin.  "There.  I'd like to see you turn that one against me."

"Eh, eh, eh.  One wish at a time.  You can wish for that tomorrow if you want."  Spike reigned in his desire to smash the bugger against the cave wall.  "But for now, wish granted."

Suddenly, the light level decreased dramatically.  Spike removed his hands from his face and looked straight ahead, blinking over and over.  He couldn't see a thing, and extended his head forward in an
attempt to figure out where he was.  Slowly, his vision returned to normal.  This was a storage room of some sort.  He could barely make out the outline of school desks, janitorial supplies and lots of
pipes.  Must be a basement.  A school basement?

March 25, 2003

Spike lay on his back, staring at the Summers' basement ceiling.  Things had not been going as he had wanted at all.  Originally, he wanted to ensoul himself and win the heart of the fair maiden Buffy. 
Well, suffice it to say, that plan went pear-shaped in no time.  Then came the bane of his existence, The Glass Toad.  He had wished to be where he would do most good.  Instead, the sodding thing sent him to Sunnydale, where he became the First's plaything, and even embarked on an old-style killing spree.  Yeah, this was doing "good."  `Perhaps,' he wondered, `I should have specified the
meaning of the word good.  Damn!'

In the blink of an eye, Spike had retrieved the offending object from its hiding place under the cot.  He held it up to eye level and glared at it with golden eyes, barely managing to keep himself out of
game face.  "Now, what's this all about, mate?  You promised to grant me a wish, and I haven't done a bit of `good' since I got here.  If you don't pay up, so help me, I'll smash you to a million little
shiny bits."

"Now, now.  There's no need for violence.  You are here to do good.  `Good' in the sense that you intended.  Can *I* help it if you can't see the big picture yet? And, by the way, when are you ever
going to make those last two wishes?  I'd hate to have to crank up light again."

"Fine.  You say that I'm here doing good, do you?  Well, listen up.  I come to Sunnyhell and lose my sanity in that basement, watchin' every person I ever wronged parade in front of me like it was some
ghoulish beauty pageant.  Then, I get dragged to Buffy's house, where everyone knows exactly what I did to her.  I get to remind Buffy every minute of every day what a beast I am and what I put her
through.  And if that wasn't bad enough, the First gets its claws on me and turns me into a killing machine…again.  I can't bloody do this anymore.  I don't want to hurt anyone who doesn't rightfully deserve it.  Can you even do that, toad?  I dare you.  I wish it!"

And by the end of the day, Spike made the acquaintance of one Prokaryote stone.

*******************

May 6, 2003

"One last wish, you glassy wanker."

The group had just informed Spike that Buffy was no longer welcome in her own house.  Bloody thankless gits!  What they were thinking, Spike could not fathom.  But one thing was for sure.  Buffy couldn't be alone at a time like this.  It may not be his place to comfort her, but it had to be someone's.

"You wish is my command, master."  The little heart throbbed with every word the toad spoke.

"Oh, please.  Just do and let's be done with our little tryst, shall we?"

"Yes, of course.  Now, there's the matter of payment."

"What?!  At a time like this, you're going to demand…"

"No."  The toad interrupted, dead serious.  "Not at this time.  We will let you know when the time is right…when your gift is required."

Spike stared at the object, contemplating the meaning of its words.  Finally, he decided to go with the flow.  "Fine.  You do what you have to do.  Only, help her.  I wish for you to give Buffy the strength to do what she has to do.  The strength to save the world…again."

The toad closed its eyes and uttered solemnly, "Final wish granted."

And, within hours, Spike found himself giving a right good inspirational speech to the woman in question, and then curled up with her for the remainder for the night.  In the morning, Buffy was in possession of Axe-Caliber…and the will to continue the good fight.

*************

May 20, 2003

To his surprise, the amulet began to glow.  The light reminded him of a certain other glass object, but that was really so far in the back of his mind that it didn't register.  The Slayers and Scoobies fought
all around him.  Some of them were dying, those he cared about the most were doing well.  That made him smile for just a split-second.  He just knew that Buffy would make it.  And maybe, just maybe, they could continue that discussion about that night in the neighbor's house, when they just held each other through the night.  Maybe they could…

"Ahem."

Spike looked down to see that insufferable toad staring up at him.  "What do *you* want?  Can't you see I'm a bit busy here?"

"I am here for payment, vampire."

Spike looked at him, unbelieving.  "Are you off your rocker?  I'm in the middle of an apocalypse.  I've got the secret weapon here and can't really be spared.  So, shove off.  I'll get back to you when
this is over."  Spike went back to his duty, but then looked back at the toad and added, "Oh, and don't you dare doubt it.  I'm no welsher."

"No, you see.  This is the perfect time.  We will allow you to complete your mission here, of course."

"How kind of you," Spike sneered.

"However, for payment, we demand your life."

Spike suddenly laughed a bit too loud.  "You're a little late, mate.  Had that taken from me over a century ago!"

"Oh, don't be so literal, vampire.  We are taking your unlife as a vampire."

Before he could even contemplate this demand, the amulet began to fry the ubervamps.  Spike could tell they were not the only vamps who would fry that day.  He was not immune to its effect, just
temporarily protected.  "Well, if you're going to take me, you better take me before this thing does."  Spike laughed at the irony.

Weary, yet somewhat elated, TPTB's group of do-gooders piled into the bright, yellow school bus.  They had won, yet it didn't feel like a win.  There were casualties.  They had lost several young Slayers, and two old ex-ish demons.  However, The First would never die.  It may slink off to tend to its wounds, but it would return.

Dawn was about to move up a seat to chat with Buffy when she overheard her sister talking to herself.  "I wish Spike hadn't died," Buffy stuttered through tears.

The little sister gently slipped into Buffy's seat, a word of condolence on her lips.  However, her words of good-will were forgotten when she saw the delicate object resting between her sister's hands.  "What's that?  A glass toad?"

"Yeah.  I found it under the seat."  Buffy looked down at the object, purposely avoiding eye contact with Dawn.

"So, you're talking to it?"

The younger sister hadn't expected an answer, but she got one.  Buffy looked up at her with the saddest, tear-filled eyes.  "I was hoping it would be magical and grant wishes."  The flood gates opened and Buffy began to weep.  Dawn took the Slayer in her arms and cried along with her.  Their combined sobs drowned out a little voice.  "Wish granted, master."

The End