I Hate Angel Fanclub

Wanna join the fight against the "Special"-"I have a pocket full of Get Out of Bad Karma Free cards" vampire, Angel? Do think that Holtz had the right idea? Do you hate his hair that stands straight up from over use of nancy-boy hair gel? Do you wish Spike would move to L.A. just to torture him once again? (And look at that! I got my wish!) Do you think Angel is bloody stupid? Then you're in the right place.

...you'll be able to take full advantage of a little known branch of the IHA: The Maim and Torture Xander Fanclub. Yes. You too can take the wheel of the Kill Xander Slowly in Lots of Different Ways Cayman Special Purpose Vehicle. Death to Denial-Man!

PLUS! For a limited time (oh, who am I kidding? It's forever) you can enjoy premiere membership in another branch of IHA: the I Hate Captain Cardboard Fanclub!

Treasurer - Lesley (Creator of the Kill Xander Slowly in Lots of Different Ways Cayman Special Purpose Vehicle)

Missionary - Talbot "Doesn't every group needs someone in the missionary position? I will proselytize to the Heathen unbelievers as to the evils of the Nancy Boy Hair Gel. Halleluiah!"

Fenchurch - "It has been my series-long dream to see Xander strung up by his toes over a pit filled with ravenous, flesh-eating weasels."

Theresa - "Not only do I totally believe that Angel is boring and stupid and a general pain, I also thoroughly believe in the secondary mission of IHA - to make Xander suffer as much as possible!"

Melissa (AU) - "Am I allowed to just hate the Angel that was on Buffy and consider the Angel on A:tS a different, unrelated character?" {Sure you can, Melissa. The only requirement of IHA is to hate Angel for one reason or another.}

P2 - "I'm a make-love-not-war kinda gal. Here's my idea of the perfect two-fer: torture Xander and Soulier-Than-Thou by making them watch Spike and Buffy have sex. Lots and lots of sex. Lots and lots of wild, creative, inventive sex. Win-win for us, lose-lose for *them.*"

Liz - "Finally, a group that truly understands my needs - my need for a vampire to be SEXY, not just angst-ridden (although that is always a plus) to EXCITE not just attempt to entertain, to make my blood run hot or cold, not comatose. Angel, how we loved you when you were doing the wild thing, (take that as you may) with and without Buffy, But now? Eeuugh! Spike SO needs to show him the glories of the dark side again. Or maybe just off him, on a more permanent basis."

SpikesPet - "Finally, somewhere I can be understood and not punished for my Angel & Xander bashing! Any chance of adding Riley to the list of people to torture and slowly kill?" {Why didn't I think of that?!}

Joe - "I'll join the club. First thing we need: a slogan. How about, 'No Nancy Hair Gel' or 'Once is sad, twice is bad, but losing your soul three times makes you a complete idiot'. That last one is a little long."

Jacqueline - "I hate Angel anywhere near Buffy. Is that good enough?" {Yes} "But I'm definitely on board for a full-scale, eternity-long Xander-torture session. Can it involve chopping, maiming, and lots of skewering with sharp, pointy objects? Oh, and forcing him to watch every woman he's cared for except for Willow have sex with Spike for eternity? (And what the hey, let's have some Willow/Spike action while we're thinking about it, just for the mental torture aspect...)" {I love a woman who knows what she wants!}

Satan's little Angel - "I have hated Angel Forever! Who would fall for that brooding soul boy!? My fave ep is AtS In the Dark the only thing that could have made it better would be if Buffy came to help with the Torture Session!"

Dream On - "I am thrilled to know that there are others that share my Angel/Riley/Xander hatred. I can't honestly say who I hate more Angel the bastard, Riley the one who cannot be named, or Xander the penis. Do I have to pick just one? {Nope. I didn't.} I am hoping against hope that Angel is left under the sea for the entire season. At the very least, I expect to see some barnacles growing on him when he is inevitably released. Or perhaps sea fungus? Fungus can grow on dead things right?" {Yes, it can. Although, fungus usually won't grow on fungus.}

Maria - "Well I gag every time I see reruns of Buffy/Angel and while he was slightly more tolerable on his own show I cannot forgive him for trying to kill Wesley when all he did was try to save Connor from the prophesy. Now yes I can fault Wesley for not telling Lorne but he was only trying to help and Angel has done far worse and he has been forgiven. And for Angel to go all Angelus at the hospital and make nice just to make it that much worse when he tried to smother... well all I can say is, can we leave Angel at the bottom of the ocean till the end of the series please?????
I hate Xander because he is a self-righteous, bigoted, Neanderthal bully and what else is there to say.
I was more or less ambivalent about Riley until he stabbed Spike with the plastic stake and blamed Buffy for his going to the vamp ho's), but the loathing really began in AYW."

SpikeGirl - "Having...THEM...on a web page is a disgusting, degrading, waste of space, but it's something that needs to be done. Now EVERYONE can know how unsightly the doofus trio really is. Plus, after looking at those pictures, doesn't Spike just look *THAT* much hotter (well, if it's possible for him to GET any hotter) ;)? I bow down in supplication to the only person I know brave enough to embark on such a voyage. You rock, Tara! IHA forever!!!" {Thank you, my minion...er...member}

Angeka - "The high-horse-mood-swinger-mopey-boring-sod must die." {Which one are you talking about?}

Whistler - "I like Xander and Angel okay but I will wish Riley would die!" {A little harsh, but, um, okay.}

Libby - "But I have hope for Xander's eventual redemption." {I cannot be held responsible for any delusions.}

Barbara - "You want hate Angel? How about a game of "Stake the Undead'? Spike stakes the Great Poof dolled up as Uncle Fester. Angel/ Fester is pushing up light bulbs. S/B are happy. Oh yeah, I made Xander Pugsley cuz he's so puffy."

Agiel - "My favorite torture victim is 'He who thinks he is God and has done no wrong' Xander, who should be hung upside down, and stripped of his flesh ever so slowly with a dull knife and a hot poker. Just thinking of it makes me smile. Riley really isn't worth the effort, just a good gutting, and leaving him to rot would be enough, preferably with wild dogs chewing his entrails. Angel, though, needs to be bathed in Holy water every day for the rest of his unlife, and the regaled with the excruciatingly sexy details of Buffy and Spike's affair, until he is driven insane with jealousy. Oh no, I haven't thought about this much at all. :) Just the thoughts of it make me smile. :)"

{Maybe a little Prozac would help. Oh, who am I kidding? I think the exact same thoughts lying awake in bed at night.}

Fillilalorax - "HATE angel... he's a big gay poofter. Xander is kinda lame and I think that he likes Angel...better not more than Spike...stupid welch...let me join and spin the wheel...please!" {Wheel? We have a wheel? <Taramisu shrugs her shoulders>}

SHllssy - "Please can I join? I hate Angel and I would enjoy maiming and torturing Xander possibly Riley as well. Actually I would love to torture Riley, stupid farmboy. P.S. Could we possibly maim and torture Buffy as well for hurting my poor Spikey?" {Now that we can do.}

Flathunder - "I hate Riley. I would love to join. I think Angel is pretty bad too. He must go through about 3 tubes of hair gel a day. Did I mention I hate Riley? :)" {Yes, you did. And you are in good company.}

Overworked - "What more can a girl ask for but a place where you can officially hate the three most annoying brunettes ever put on this earth - Angel, Xander and Riley"

StardustSpike - "Captain cardboard annoyed the hell out of me and Xander, God could that boy be anymore daft? Plus I love Spike and he hates them so I guess we both are good judges of character, lol."

D. Russell - "I've lately come to BtVS at the end of Season 6, because I watched a couple of earlier shows with the non-actor Angel guy, and thought, Hoo buy, who'd he hafta know, to get this job? I've missed so much cuzza him. And Riley--blech. And Xander? Well, he's loyal, from what I've seen. That's worth something."

JT - "Spike - hot! Others - NOT! 'nough said. So when do we get to the maiming and torture part? :)" {That's what your imagination and fanfiction is for. Get to it.}

Matty - "I am driven to distraction by Xander's pigheaded, narrow minded hatred of Spikey, and I would be happy to never, never, hear the name Angel again. He ruins the reruns for me! Riley who???"

Rebecca - "Hate him!!!!!!!! Just recently became a Buffy fan and a girl and I at work fight over who is all around better character-- Angel or Spike. It think we all know the answer to that."

Susan J. - "Never watch unless he's on Buffy - when I have to. And pleeze don't remind me of The Voice - bad enough they included it in an ad. My dream is of Buffy ending up with Spike who informs Peaches "This is what she wants - and *I'll* get it right." He may have a soul, but a brain? Never."

Ancientgirl - "I hate him. I can't understand why all these Angel worshippers think he is better than Spike. HELLO, he was a worse human than Spike was, and a far worse vampire. When he loses his soul (which of course he never asked for, ahem CURSE anyone) he becomes evil Angelus, Spike without a soul was a better person than Angel was before he became a vampire. Spike didn't need a soul to be good, he was already. Spike went looking for his soul, Angel never wanted it. And plus his hair sticks straight up and he's bloody stupid. Angel, yuck, peeuwy. Spike, yummy, luscious."

Amber - "Angel is a brooding, idiotic poof who isn't fit to kiss Spike's ass. Riley makes me puke, he never needed to be on the show. I hate watching old reruns because either one or both of them are in them. Xander has his moments, but for the most part, sucks. They all need to be tortured, slowly and painfully, for how mean they were to Spike and I dream of the day when Buffy tells them all how much she loves Spike and they all have to watch them together!"

Linda - "Please enlist me in your noble cause! Angel is nothing but a tedious toad with a permanent bad hair day. As for Riley, I have never despised anyone as much as I despise Riley Finn."

Malinda - "As for Riley, can someone pass me that plastic stake? I want to drive it through his heart. Come on, hurting Spikey, and Buffy for that matter, then coming back, and with his wife none the less. He deserves a great big bashing! What DID Buffy see in him? *Shakes head*"

Meghan - "I have to join IHA because his eventual desertion (and repetition of storyline) created a doorway for Riley who came very close to putting me off of BtVS forever; and I can really do without the Xander Soap Box of Vampire Knowingness. All three of them need to be shipped of to an island where they have nothing else but each other to assuage their manly needs before we sink the island. Now that would be a 'Survivor' I'd watch." {Me too. Me too.}

Susie - "Angel - bland, boring, droopy-eyed, hyperthalmic (is that a word? Oh well, it is now) dork. A creature whose every strong emotion, from anger to lust, is conveyed with a look of extreme, painful constipation (holy water enema, anyone?). Xander - once cute and funny (no, really!), now bigoted, self-righteous, hypocritical jerk. A slow flaying accompanied by the latest Nikki Webster CD on repeat (for non-Australians, substitute annoying pre-teen 'musical artist' of your choice) is still too good for him. Riley - bleah, argh, yuruurgh!!! Nuff said! Count me in!"

Meredith - "Damn I hate that dippity-dope. Angel was such a wuss! Bloody ponce... Captain Cardboard should be shredded. Is it just me, or is he the most vacuous character ever created in the Buffyverse? And Xander? I don't have a huge problem with him, except for his obvious stupidity and ignorance. Hey! I guess I do have something against him! I hate him less because he doesn't stand a chance in hell with Buffy. I hate people who are pro-Angel and Anti-Spike. Are you nuts? Angel with no soul = kill Buffy and everyone she loves. Spike with no soul = sarcastic, but ultimately loyal and caring guy."

Petzipellepingo - "They are all bloody stupid and all deserve to be dropping into a pit of molten lava. Don't forget Connor as well. Ewww." {You bring up a good point. But I'm afraid Connor cannot yet be held accountable for his actions. I mean, look at who his father is.}

Michelle - "Riley--God, I hate Riley. What a nancy-boy. When Spike called him "Crew-cut" in Season Six, I laughed and laughed. Take that, Crew-cut. He would fit much better in the movie Pleasantville."

The Manning Family - "Please, oh noble ones, allow me to join your merry band of Riley haters! The day he dies the world will be a happier place for all other BtVS fans and the Buffy/Spike supporters. And Angel? Nothing against him except leaving Buffy and ditching Spike Dru n Darla after he got the oh-so-special soul." {Wow. A whole family!}

Victoria - "I hate Angel. I hated Angel the moment I first saw him in 1997 (I was nine) and he had the nerve to put his broody ass on the Buffy set. I have cheered every time he got rejected, kicked, punched, kneed, headbutted, impaled, thrown, tossed, bitched, pinched, whipped, and dissed. I would have cheered the day Angel became a eunuch. But that was before the show. In fact, 'cept for Giles, and Spike, every other guy who's ever been on Buffy...(oh yeah, except for Dracula, too) should be given a massive swirly, and then have their heads shoved into the massive meat grinder that I will someday design to devour people I hate (including any musician who could be associated with bubblegum pop) Except for Angel. Angel should have a nuclear weapon shoved up his ass. He should then be launched into orbit. And stay there. Forever and ever. With a big rocket up his ass. *Resounding evil laughter ensues*" {Victoria, you are in need of some serious anger management. Even I, president of IHA, don't harbor that much hatred for mankind. May I suggest a Valium?}

Kerry - Angel's angsty butt ALWAYS needed to get a clue, and he really didn't love Buffy if he couldn't love her without a soul. Spike's name "Captain Cardboard" for Riley was SO right- he was boring, and ultimately terrible to Buffy. And Xander, who can occasionally be cute and endearing, has recently earned my hate by leaving Anya at the altar and spending too much time being mean to helpful Spike.

Gone Two Step - Please please please please let me join!!!! I'm willing to bribe! I'm stuck with a lot family and friends who are absolutely obsessed with those two, it's sick! And to make it worse majority of them don't even like Spike, I mean what the hell is wrong with these people? Angel and Riley are just horrible terrible characters, period. Xander is only marginally better. Giles, Spike, Faith, and Oz are the only main characters I haven't wanted to beat with their own limbs. I mean even Oz, the one everyone notes isn't very expressive, has more than Angel's two facial expressions. The only way you can tell Angel is upset is he adds all those William Shatner-esque pauses, which just aren't affective if you're not Kirk! His tone and mood is all exactly the same! And Riley is this little boring whitebread who bitches, whines, and then tries to blame everyone else. You have no idea how much I hoped Faith would have killed those two in season 4/2. I was just begging for it. Hey, with Angel losing his soul this season and Spike with his shiny new one (isn't it so sad and sweet? In one episode I felt more for spike than in the entire 3 seasons of broody-Angel!) is there any chance Spike could guilt-free kill him? And with his chip coming out I certainly wouldn't complain if he killed Riley, "accidentally" of course, or tortured Xander. Yeah, I know I'm stretching, but a girl can dream, can't she? {A little gregarious today, aren't we?}

"Faith" - Hey I am all for the I hate Angel/Xander/Riley fanclub. THEY SHOULD ALL DIE AND BURN IN HELL... No that's not nice... They should be tortured first. {Faith. I told you to stop writing me. Now, find another pen pal.}

Embers - I have always hated Angel...even before Spike came and showed us what a really cool Vampire would be like, back in the first season, I thought that Angel was a big boring brooding bore (is that redundant?) Well I REALLY HATE ANGEL! And of course torturing Xander is probably necessary because he really has to get over the whole being mad at Spike thing (I was so glad that Spike was able to punch Xander in the nose, even tho he was being controlled by the first at the time....

Dave - Angel should be sentenced to death by Riley-exposure. Of course Riley deserves death by Angel-exposure. The only thing wrong with that idea is that I wouldn't be able to watch it (who would?). OTOH there's a certain amount of pleasure to be had just knowing the deed is being done.

Evette - I want to be your bastard Angel hating child. As I think I can never hate him the way you guys do and it makes me sad!

Astrid_Øen_Olsen - I'm from Norway and want to say something. Torture them nice and slow. Cut off their heads and don't even bother to drink the blood! I hate Angel since I saw him! He is sooooo boring. And Xander: he is just a annoying human with his little teddy bear. And Riley: God, were do I start? It would be an honor to join your vipire{sic}family.

Kat - First, I don't hate Xander. I dislike him, but I don't hate him. I do, however, hate Captain Cardboard and Overhanging Forehead boy with a fiery vengeance. Yep, that's me, cordial as a ball of spikes, dipped in poison and set on fire.

Gene Meyers - I would LOVE to be a member!! I'm glad that there are so many people out there who feel the same way that I do (my poor, misguided sister is somehow under the delusion that Riley & Xander combined are hotter than Spike. I think that another of Willow's spells went soooo wrong, that it carried over to this dimension and affected my sister). I hate, HATE, HATE Angel!!!!! The brooding Nancy boy!!! And Xander; he deserves to be boiled in frog spawn!!!!! And Riley too; I HATE him with a PASSION!!!!! They should all be tortured slowly; knives, fire pokers, guns, etc. And holy water & crosses, too, in Angel's case. And that torture should definitely involve watching Buffy having sex with Spike. For Angel- hours of repeated sex, like he couldn't give her, courtesy of the happiness clause. For Riley- fast, wild, passionate sex, like he was too weak to give her. Any kind for Xander, because he could never have her. And, of course, slow, tender lovemaking, to prove that she loves Spike more than the others. Then, you can finally let them die. Riley should be shown himself naked in the mirror: if he doesn't die immediately from the horror, then when the mirror breaks, you can use the glass to cut off his head. Xander should probably be arranged to be mauled by a demon : they are attracted to him, and would be happy to do so (if not, money can be involved, as we'd all be happy to see Xander die). Angel should be tied up outside to wait for the sun. And if Spike gets the Shanshu, which he probably will, Angel's last image before exploding into dust will be off Buffy and Spike kissing in the sunlight, and it will stay in his mind as he suffers eternity in hell. *sigh* Doesn't all of that sound gratifying? {This is why hubby wants me to take down this website. Oh well.}

Slayer0389 - Come on guys! There is only one person worse than Angel, and that's Riley. The boy needs a life to ever think he was better than the one, the only, Spike. Nothing can compare to Spike. And please don't get me started on Xander. O good god does he only think of himself. Poor, poor Spikey. But let's see: Angel, now Spike's in town, lets hope the "I wear lifts" sees the only souled vampire is SPIKE.

Sunshine - I totally agree with you. Do you like Spike? I think he is the best guy for Buffy. He's fit and he has much more to give to Buffy than anyone else despite the whole sunlight issue.

SwimmerGirl1226 - YOU PEOPLE ROCK! But MY way for killing Riley might be too extreme.....no it really ISN'T but here it is ok. We strip him of his skin and dip him in salt! HAHAHA!!! Ok maybe a little too gross but who cares! And Angel! Oooo I have such plans for Angel! He will have to WATCH...any women he ever loved/care for end up with Spike forever! Especially BUFFY! I haven't got to much of a problem with Xander, after all he DID save Buffy! All I shall do to him is poke his other eye out with a red hot poker.......well.......maybe I'll just poke him with it! OOOO OR put him in that dimension where Gunn is and make that guy rip his heart out! *relieved sigh* It's nice to see people with the same demented ideas as I do....