Gordo Does Vegas
I know my Girl loves me. She cuddles me every night. I get to sit at the place of honor – the bed – all day long. The Dawgs aren’t even allowed up here. They stand down there on the floor, their pink lickers sticking out and dripping. I can tell they are jealous. I am the beloved pig.
But one day, I overheard Girl talking about Riter Kon in Vay-Gus. She talked to her Boy about leaving for three days. I was so sad. Would I be able to stay on the bed while she was gone? Would I have to sleep with the Dawgs on their hairy beds? Would they chew on my ears and eat my Poly-Ester stuffing? But I was being so silly.
Packing day came. I watched her put her body coverings in a big bag. She put things from the Water World in there. And when I thought she was done, she picked me up, looked me in the eyes, and said, “It’s time to get in the Sewt Kays, Gordo.” And she packed me too! Yes, Girl loves me.
I was in the big bag for a long time, but then, when it opened, I blinked a little from the bright light and saw a huge, new world.
I got to meet lots of Big Ones in all different shapes and sizes. Many were happy to see me. How do they know me? I must be famous.
In the end, I got my fill of cuddles. That was good.
I found a big Musheen that Girl said held the Cup of Eternul Torment. I tried to get a cup for her, but my butt was a little too big.
On the second day of our trip, Girl took me to the Gutter Re Ewnyun Partee.
There were lots of nice Big Ones there. I got Layd. I drank some funny tasting waters.
After a while, I had to go to the bathroom.
I got very sleepy after a while and fell asleep on the bed.
I did some Gam Bling on my very own Piggy Slot Machine.
But then a Big One with blue skins and a shiny chest patch grabbed me by the arm. “Are you over 21, pig?”
“21? I’m just one pig.”
“No, are you over 21 years old? Let me see your ID.”
“My Eye Dee? I’m just an SA pig. I just have these two eyes.”
Before I knew it, he picked me up and carried me to the Bad Pig Place. He told me I could have one phone call. So, I called Girl. Thankfully, she came to get me.
I heard the Blue Skinned One talking loudly. “Please keep an eye on your pig, mam. We have minor laws in Vegas, you know.”
Funny, I never saw any miners. I didn’t even know they had mines in Vey-Gus. When I asked Girl, she said there weren’t miners here, but I may see a lot of Lewse Women and Naughty Kawlej Boys.
On the last day, Girl took me to see the Star Trek Expery Ense. She was very excited, although I did not understand why.
While she was looking the other way, a Big Grey One came up to me and poked me with a needle in his hand. Ouch! That hurt.
Funny. Every since then, I’m not pink and I’m wearing this funny black skin.
