147

(Chapter 3)

 
 AUTHOR: Taramisu
 WRITTEN: 6/03
 E-MAIL: taramisu1@yahoo.com
 SUMMARY: Taramisu's Official Post-Chosen Fic
 RATING: R
AUTHOR NOTES: Thank you to my sterling beta, Jac.  Without her, I suck. 

Anne muttered to herself and shook her head.  “I guess they don’t do the heavenly orientation the way they used to.  Ever since the budget cuts…”

“Huh?”  Spike stared at her, not knowing what she was talking about.

“Oh, never mind.”  She stirred herself from her thoughts and took her son by the shoulders.  “William.  You are special.”

“So you’ve said since I was old enough to remember, Mother.”

“No.  Not that kind of special.  Of course, as your mother, I thought you were better than everyone else’s sons.  I mean special in a different sense.”  Rather than continuing her explanation, she stared intently into his eyes, hoping he would absorb her meaning.  It seemed to work.

“Special, huh?”  Spike said, his eyes opening wider.

“Yes.”

A sly smirk crossed his lips.  “Special.”  He tried the word on for size.  “Special, meaning what exactly?”

She sighed heavily, admitting she would have to do the honors of explaining his special circumstances.  “Is it too much to ask of these angels to supply a little tour and some information?  Honestly.  How is a soul supposed to become acclimated if he does not know the particulars?”  She became lost in her exasperated thoughts and Spike realized he had to help lead her through the conversation if he was to ever find out what she was nattering on about.

“Mother?  What about my gift?”

She noticed his impatience and immediately felt silly for going on so.  “Oh, yes.  I am sorry, dear.  William, what you have done has not escaped notice of the Higher Beings.”

“And, so they all decided to chip in and buy me a china set?”

A bit upset at his flippancy, Anne expressed her irritation.

“No.”

“Oh, it’s to be a gold watch, then, is it?”

“William…”  She drew the word out as a motherly warning. 

“A trip to Hawaii?”

“No!  Now stop that.  This is quite serious.”

“I have no doubt.  It’s just that I’ve never had much use for God’s idea of rewards.  He has a sick sense of humor, that one does.”

She sighed again.  “You were never this difficult before, you know.”

Although Spike grinned evilly, his words were apologetic.  “I do know.  I’m sorry.”

“Right, then.  You were destined for this path.  They tell me it has been written that you were designed to save the world as we know it in the…oh, what did they call it?  The End of Days, I believe.  And for your courage in choosing the side of Right for yourself, you shall receive the greatest gift ever given.”  Spike leaned in toward her, positively riveted.  He didn’t dare interrupt her with a smart-assed comment.  This was getting good.

Anne announced with a hushed reverence, “Life.”

“Life?  What does…”

“Your gift is to become a living, breathing human.  Well, if you choose to accept your gift, of course.”

Anne regarded her flabbergasted son, with contentment for having finally gotten the idea and its meaning across to him.

“I can -”  He stopped, unable to form his ideas into words.

“Become human, yes.”

“Human.  As in, I get to go back where I came from and live out a normal, human life?”

Why was he having so much trouble with this concept?  “Yes.  Are you all right, William?”

“But I can choose to stay here, right?”

This surprised her.  She assumed anyone would jump at the chance for a, well, second chance.  Especially since the first chance did not fare so well.  “Why in the name of all that’s good would you do that?”

“Just tryin’ to get this all straight in my head.  So, what’s the catch?  There any fine print to this deal?  Do I have to go back as one of my victims and relive his death?”  Spike looked at his mother warily.

“Will, there is no ‘catch’.  Just a reward for being the first demon to ever choose the path you chose.  I’d be sad to see you go, certainly, but we’ll meet again in a few decades.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

And that was when she understood.  The look on his face explained it all.  He was afraid of becoming old.  He had lived over a century, yet never looked a day over 26.  While every human grows up knowing that he or she will grow old and die, Spike had gone through existence with no such knowledge.  He always thought he would seem young and strong forever.  She took his soft hand in hers and patted it gently.

“I see.  You are afraid of growing old, is that it?”  He looked up at her, surprised.  “I told you.  I can hear your thoughts.  You cannot hide them from me.”

“Actually, I was afraid that I’d go back and screw it up this time, then end up in Hell for eternity.  Where’d you get that growing old stuff from?”

She just stared at him and blinked.

**********************

A good hour had passed and Buffy was still in that bathroom.  By now, Xander was fully dressed and pacing the floor like an expectant father.  Stop.  Strike that.  Bad place to go.  Oh, yeah, that's a really bad place to go.  Xander mentally slapped himself.

What the hell was she doing in there?  The shower had been running for the last 45 minutes and had to be cold by now.  He knew he should go talk to her, but every time he put one foot toward that bathroom, he froze, too afraid to continue.  While part of him wanted to hold her in his arms and comfort her, the rest of him wanted to run far, far  away and pretend this had never happened.  So, he compromised and plopped down on the sofa, holding his head in his hands.

******************

“Wow.  I’ve never…I’ve always known exactly what I wanted.  But now, I just don’t.”  Spike stared at the floor in awe of the decision in front of him.

Anne smiled softly.  “You do.  The girl.  You know you want to live a life with her.”

He huffed, then looked up at her.  “It’s not all about Buffy, Mother.”

“Isn’t it?”

Spike had to stop and really consider his mother’s words.  Was he considering going back to Earth for Buffy?  Or was there something else there for him?  Sure, she supposedly loved him, but there had to be more.  Some purpose to his return.  He had lived too long with no real purpose, save to create havoc and destroy life.  Then it hit him. Perhaps that would be his purpose – to give back that which he had taken over the years.  Not to seek redemption.  No.  That was Angel’s gig.  But to prove to himself and the world that he was worth something.  He was more than a snarky attitude with great pecs.

“I know what I want.”

She already knew what he was about to say, but prompted him to continue just the same.  “Yes?”

“I want to be special.”

Anne cupped her son’s cheek and smiled deeply.  “You already are.  But you go ahead and prove that to yourself.  I’ll be waiting right here for you.  I love you, William.”

And without getting the chance to complete the conversation, Spike felt a lightness to his body.  The image of his mother and her sitting room faded, and he began to feel a bit…euphoric.

******************

Original Ending

Alternate Ending